Veronica Mars
Betty And Veronica

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 4 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Is This Betty Ford We're Talking About?

Well, not too bad, actually, as Veronica shows up at Pan High. VMVO tells us that it's just fifteen miles away from Neptune, but it's inland, and therefore worth about as much relatively as the Canadian dollar. (Hey, I couldn't think of anything else. Do me a favor and pretend it's five years ago, okay? I mean, isn't that a pretty appealing idea anyway?) VMVO adds that people at Pan hate Neptune as much as she does. Hey, here's a thought: why don't y'all move fifteen miles inland yourselves? I mean, with all the complaining you do about the high school and your standard of living in Neptune, it seems like a logical solution to me.

Anyway, in the Pan cafeteria, VMVO tells us that you can always spot the popular kids in high school, as she settles on...Mac from 7th Heaven. Hee. Ha ha. Hee hee. Ah ha ha ha ha. VMVO, ladies and gentlemen! Try the fish sticks, they're delicious! Mac, dressed in a letterman's jacket, calls to Veronica that they have some room at their table. That's a surprise. Mac introduces himself as "Richie," and shakes Veronica's hand. She notes his number, and feigns trepidation as she asks, "Thirteen. Is it my unlucky day?" I'd let Sara M field that one, but I don't feel like cleaning spit off my TV. I had enough of that when The Mountain was on the air. Richie tells her that it's her first day, and that she's already at the cool kids' table. I find it hard to believe he's this funny all the time. Veronica introduces herself as "Betty" and, learning that Richie plays basketball, semi-ditzes that she's a sports freak, and says that at her old school, she was "horny." Richie's friend stifles a spit-take, and Veronica blondely clarifies, "We were the Rhinos! I was the mascot." Hee. Veronica has the slightly nervous ditzy babbling down here, not that that's a surprise. Mac chuckles at the seemingly unintended entendre, and asks what school that was. Veronica: "Riverdale." Hee hee. Mac says he's never heard of it, and his density means that he's going to have to be called Moose. Please ignore any possibility that the name might have a second level of appropriateness. The conversation turns to Neptune and the purloined parrot, and Mac brags that Pan beats Neptune every year, but one of the hangers-on says that this year, "that Fennel kid is amazing." Veronica grins ear-to-ear at that assertion. Aw. Some kid runs in and yells to Richie, "They got our goat! They stole Billy!" Hee and hee. VMVO says some unnecessary stuff, although in the process amusingly she amusingly calls herself "the human Google"...

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Veronica Mars

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