Extra! Extra! This Movie Sucks!
Outside, Keri whoops in triumph, which is a sound that's really shouldn't be on television. Not since Wild Kingdom went off the air, anyway. The girls run off to take Brett down, not that he has any problem with that, according to Sam.
Tabloid headline of Brett being...er, "inned"? We see copies of the Tattler stuck into every locker in sight, but no one's reading them. Then suddenly, someone does. Well, that was worth my time. Anyway, the queen is scandalized, and then everyone grabs a copy. They read the headline, and then stare at Brett, who's just appeared. I think maybe he's subconsciously trying to break the story himself, if his horribly mismatched color scheme is any indication. Brett walks up the hall, surrounded on both sides in a gay-ntlet tableau, and then his former minions mince up and ask how he could do this to them. Brett drops the gay voice and says he sucks at sports and school, and he's white trash, so he had to find a way to stand out: "Being a nice middle-class kid with good fashion sense just wasn't gonna cut it." Well, how do you know if you don't even try? The gays swishily give him the whole "dead to us" routine, and mince off. Keri and Kim gloat as Brett dramatically straightens out his look.
Later, Keri and Kim toast with chocolate milk, and then Keri says they should tell everyone that they're behind the Tattler. I'd make a comment about whether she really thinks slamming people will lead to popularity, but I have gotten some interesting emails over the years. Mokthar comes up and congratulates them, having heard that Keri's dad dropped a couple grand on a desktop publishing system. He offers himself up as a paparazzo, and Kim hires him. Shouldn't you clear that with Moneybags, there, Kim?
Kim walks past Teddy, who cautions her not to walk on the wrong side of the hall. He then says he's kidding, and that he doesn't buy into any of that "A-list nonsense." Hmm, a popular, probably rich guy who is nice to the disenfranchised. I'd make a joke about typecasting, but considering this is a guy who's playing a character with his real last name, it'd probably be something of a waste. Teddy compliments Kim on some joke that happened off-screen, and if we're to believe that Kim said something really clever, it's probably best that the writers left it to our imagination. They introduce themselves, and Teddy says that Kim isn't a "shrinking Violet," like, first, if they're only having this conversation at this point in the movie, I don't know how he came to that conclusion, and second, kill me now. Teddy offers to switch oral-report dates with Kim, and even though it seemed like she was totally lying about her excuse, she says that would be great. Teddy awkwardly and endearingly smiles, and then goes off to read Animal Farm, as Kim makes dorky faces. Not very spunky or world-weary there, Kim. Thank God.