MONDO EXTRAS

In the closet, Kim tells Keri that there's a story with the principal and the chippie. She spies a janitor's uniform and a mop, and she's going to need them to clean up the wacky hijinx that are sure to be forthcoming.

Cut to the principal's office, where he rudely pushes past the "disguised" Kim, who tries to put on a man's voice and yet DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO PUT HER LONG HAIR UP, and to borrow a phrase from Demian, this movie blows, and I want to die. Kim finds a mash note from the MHAIF and takes a picture of it. Given the hearts and flowers all over the note, I wouldn't be surprised to learn of some statutory rape here, except that might be a little too much even for the Family Channel. (Stepbrother trying to get into his stepsister's pants, though? Totally okay, at least on Friday night.)

The English teacher is going on about Animal Farm, like, is this class challenged that they spend so much time on one book? Kim notices that Teddy won't make eye contact with her. Kim gets called on for her thoughts on the book, as if the thirty oral reports they're doing ON THE SAME BOOK aren't enough, but she gets summoned to the principal's office before she can answer. She exchanges a conspiratorial smile with Keri and leaves.

Principal's office. He's holding a copy of the Tattler with a headline of "No Principles Principal." He threatens her with expulsion, but she in turn says that she'll mass-produce that edition. He asks her what she wants, and she demands the newspaper's office back...

...and just like that, the day spa is toast, much to the chagrin of Bitchony and Bitchory. Keri gloats that it's their time, and they've got the power, and enough with the delusions of grandeur and the argyle sweaters, Keri.

But neither of those is gone just yet, as Keri suddenly has minions, be they geeks or not. After far too much discussion of the quarterback's lack of endowment, Keri shoots down a bunch of story ideas and tells her audience that Bitchony and Bitchory are about to "rally the troops." Basically, Keri needs to switch to decaf even more than usual, and it's causing tension between her and Kim. And her and the rest of the free world, but that's less newsworthy.

Kim catches Teddy coming in from practice. He reluctantly greets her, and tells her that he's upset that she's behind the gossip rag, since no one's been through the rumor mill more than he. Of course, he apparently he had no idea he was even on anyone's radar the last time they discussed this subject, so apparently he's heard a lot of things about himself in a short stretch of time. That'll happen when you discover the internet, though. Kim tells him that she'd never write anything bad about him, but he tells her that he used to think she was above the school, and now he sees that she's happy to stoop to its level. Wow, it took a rebel like Teddy to put Kim in her place. And when I think of rebels, the first thing that always, always comes to mind is "pretty-boy tennis player."