Extra! Extra! This Movie Sucks!
We get another dumb look at a Campus Confidential headline. Basically, it's about Kim having no social status. There's also a story about this movie sucking, but they buried it, for some reason.
Cafeteria. Kim tries to get her hands on some KFC, but is shot down by the world-weary cafeteria worker, who says that the football team gets to eat all the chicken on Game Day. Judging from the size of the guts on those kids, Game Days are the ones that end in "y." Kim spunkily tries to convince the woman, but she isn't having it, thank God. Kim's next stop is a kid in a turban with a crappy accent named Mokthar. He's the photographer for the school paper. Boring, yet offensive. Kim surveys the room, and sees a bunch of kids sitting at tables marked "Reserved," including the bitches from the hallway. There's also a table full of super-queeny gay boys, but I'm not really sure who the writers consulted on their fashion sense, since it looks like the kids raided their grandfathers' golf wardrobes and dyed the contents any pastel shade they could get their hands on. Kim spots an empty table and sits down. One of the queens makes a comment that makes no sense, and then Bitchy Mena Suvari comes in with her underlings, makes an exaggerated show of asking one of them for her water bottle and then doing a spit-take when she realizes it's not carbonated, and then literally looks like she's going to asphyxiate when she sees that Kim is sitting at her table. Hey, ABC Family Channel? If you're so keen on learning from Orwell, you might want to take home the lesson that satires don't have to suck. Bitchy Mena Suvari stomps over as some geeky dude who moonlights as her dog shrieks at Kim. Kim retorts that you can't reserve tables in the cafeteria, to which everyone gasps like it's 1930 and some tomato just showed her gams at the beach. Only Teddy looks amused, but that could be because he looks like he recently had a healthy dose of, er, "wheatgrass." Bitch and Bitch Friend come over and dump the contents of their trays onto Kim's head. Bitch Friend is black while Bitch is white, so they'll heretofore be referred to as Bitchony and Bitchory, respectively. Teddy is nice enough to give an "oh, that sucks" face, but everyone else laughs. Hon, when even the cafeteria worker is laughing at you, I don't need a headline to tell me that your social life is in the shitter. Mokthar snaps a photo. Ten minutes later, Kim is still gaping. You might want to close you mouth there, dear, as all sorts of wildlife are going to be attracted to your hair for the rest of the day.