Extra! Extra! This Movie Sucks!
...and we see the ostensible principal lining up a golf putt, so we know he's on the side of the Haves. He world-wearily tells them to take a seat, and Kim takes the opportunity to spunkily ask him if the KFC could be released to the general public on Game Days. I think withholding KFC is about the most humanitarian thing the school could do for the kids, but I suppose I wasn't particularly concerned with nutrition when I was in high school either. The principal gets a reminder from his secretary about his "nooner" with "Miss Davies" from the PTA. He corrects her that it's a "noon appointment." So that's what the kids' administrators are calling it these days. Anyway, the principal has a limited time before the Viagra kicks in, so he gets to the point and tells the girls that he's cutting funding. Keri refuses to get it until Kim tells her that he's shutting down the paper. Keri shrieks, "SHUTTING DOWN THE PAPER?" Wow, I already found her annoying, but now I have to dress this dog bite because of her. Thanks, Keri.
Dumb tabloid headline. Keri and Kim unload copies of the paper in front of Kim's house as Keri bitches about how unfair their school is. Peg comes out and asks if Kim has seen the cat, like, nice investigative skills there, Peg. Hilariously, she turns to go back inside without introducing herself to Keri, but Keri calls after her. When she learns Peg's name, she starts fawning about what a great reporter she is. Peg says she's surprised that anyone here knew her work from Berkeley, but Keri's talking about the local story she wrote on a traffic light. I'm never going to make it here. Boring exposition ensues about the shutdown of the paper, and Kim complains that the school is like a monarchy with homecoming kings and queens...