What a difference a week makes. Keith has Logan and Veronica over for dinner, and while it doesn't go that badly, the nervous breakdown Veronica almost has is probably enough to stop her from agreeing to it again. Laura San Giacomo shows up for a big Just Shoot Me reunion, and tells Keith she thinks her husband's having an affair. She already seems pretty checked out of the marriage, though, and gets more so as she and Keith share pizza and embarrassing Veronica stories. It turns out that Laura's husband's heart is true, but it looks like certain seeds have been sown. Which may, of course, lead to certain other seeds being sown. Logan is informed that his trust fund is running low, and he asks Veronica to help him find out if his accountant has been skimming anything. Keith has his accountant look into it, and discovers that Haaron's former business manager has been siphoning off ten grand a month of Logan's money. Veronica follows the trail a long way to discover that the money is, in fact, going to Logan's half-brother, which just goes to prove that I am as capable of forgetting spoilers as I am of everything else. Logan calls the brother, Charlie (played by Matt Czuchry, Logan on Gilmore Girls, and okay, heh), and they have an awkward but positive-seeming first contact. While Logan is telling Charlie his deep dark secrets, though, Veronica is discovering that the guy is a reporter posing as the brother for a story. Logan mistakenly thinks that the real Charlie pointed Gilmore Logan in VM Logan's direction, so he outs real Charlie on Larry King. Logan learns that Gilmore Logan acted solo, though, so our Logan tearily tries again to reach out to the real Charlie, with undetermined results. Finally, Parker, still bitter, is dismissive of Veronica, but Veronica pushes her way in to see her and informs her that she, too, was raped -- in the summer of 2004. Well, points for the effort, I guess. Nish interrupts and asks Parker some questions, and publishes an article pointing the finger at the Pi Sigs, since they had a party on every night a girl was raped. The boys counter by sending Dick to hire Veronica to clear them, and Veronica, thinking to further her own investigation, accepts the assignment, but not before charging them a rather spendier fee than normal. At this rate, she'll be out of the library pretty darn quick. Veronica, with grudging help from the smarmy Chip, pokes around at the frat house, where Parker, participating in a protest outside the building, unfortunately sees her and goes cold again, but not before casting some real suspicion on Dick. However, Veronica's able to prove that Claire, the last rape victim, was with some Asian guy not in the frat close before the rape, so it looks like the Pi Sigs are cleared, much to the dismay of the protest girls. In the end, Veronica tells Parker to get over herself and let Veronica find the actual truth, and while I like Parker, I have to give that one my total agreement.
Before I start, I'm told the episode title is both an Apocalypse Now reference and a lyric from a Clash song. You can decide for yourself which one fits the story better.
In the Mars kitchen, Keith is cutting up some vegetables as Veronica nervously opines that "this" idea of Keith's is a bad one. Keith: "Math, sweetie. Me plus idea equals good." If you listen really closely, you can hear Kendall doing an incredulous spit-take on her third martini of the afternoon up in heaven. (She and Lynn Echolls are total BFFs, by the way.) There's a knock at the door, and Veronica and Keith exchange an amusing glance before Veronica opens the door to find Logan, who asks, "You were expecting Sidney Poitier?" Veronica steps out onto the patio and closes the door. "No jokes. No innuendos, no quips, don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked, or having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers!" Time is at a premium on television, Veronica, and you could have saved some by just telling him not to talk. Logan promises not to say anything bad, and they enter, hand in hand.
Cut to Keith asking Logan how school's going. Logan replies that he's not hating it, and Veronica gives a tight-lipped, dorky smile and nod, like "See, Dad? He's not so bad? Now can we cut out right in the middle of dinner so we can preserve that impression?" Logan starts to say his grades aren't so hot, but Veronica cuts him off and tells Keith that Hearst let him in late because of his high test scores. I'm not saying Logan's not intelligent, but I don't think he really committed a lot of time to studying for standardized tests last year. It's more likely the test examiner looked at his answers and was like, "I want some of whatever he's on." Keith, ignoring Veronica's increasingly urgent interruptions, asks what classes Logan's taking, and Logan rattles off his courses, which include "Mass Comm," which he claims is coming in handy: "Apparently being the offspring of a murderer doesn't get old. I'm getting all these interview requests -- Larry King wants me to come on with O.J.'s kids." Maybe they can book Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney as musical guests. Keith somewhat aggressively wonders why Logan isn't thinking about it, but maybe he's still pissed off about the whole tape-erasing thing. (I know I am, although not at Logan.) Anyway, Veronica calls a time-out, and she and Keith banter for a bit too long until Keith asks exactly what subjects of conversation are permitted. Veronica casts about for a bit and comes up with "hobbies," which, given what the catalyst for their whole fight LAST EPISODE was, wouldn't have been my choice. Logan mentions surfing, and Keith asks what the attraction is, only to have Veronica tells Logan not to answer that. Jeez, and I've been accused of being heavy-handed as a moderator. Keith rolls his eyes, and we're out. Some people were disappointed that this scene was too short, and while I think they got the salient points across in regard to Logan's plotline tonight, I'll certainly agree that the length was belied by the heavy preview promotion. At least the promos showed stuff that was actually in the episode, though, which is more than I can say for the old WB. Also an improvement? No more billing new episodes as "fresh." Someone finally figured out that using a term that went out before a large percentage of the viewership was born wasn't the way to go to advertise new content. Groovy.