Veronica Mars
Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Douglas Adams Had No Idea

Karaoke, Hut-style. Some loser named "Lars" is ineffectively warbling his way through "Jeanie With The Light Brown Hair," sung directly at his girlfriend, Jeanie. Dude, if you're going to subject the public to your nauseating stylings, at least do it in a place where they can turn to the bartender and order some shots. Lars sits down and kisses his girlfriend, and then the next singer comes up, who just happens to be Courtney Taylor-Taylor of The Dandy Warhols, who just happen to sing the theme song of this show. I just happen to believe that this is not a coincidence. Courtney, after some thinly-veiled snarking on Lars, sings "Love Hurts" in a high register, moving Jeanie to tears. Hee. Lars is incredulous, but he shouldn't be, because I think her tears have less to do with the song message and more to do with the fact that she just realized what a nimrod she's with.

Courtney continues to sing as Veronica goes over to Beaver's table with her PowerBook. He admiringly says he couldn't even find the camera in the Shuffle. Aw, he likes her! Of course, if it's going to work out, he'll have to change his surname, because there's no way Veronica will take the name "Casablancas." So how convenient that Beaver's going to have good reason to ditch the name in about fifteen minutes or so. Veronica says that it may take a little while to go through the pictures, since she set the camera to take one every fifteen seconds. I find it hard to believe that there's enough memory in that little camera to store two thousand pictures. Because if there is, the makers of my digital camera should be the ones under investigation. The bunch of pictures they look at first show Gym Guy in the Sandpiper, doing the sort of business with Charisma that doesn't require shedding clothes. Beaver is confused, and Veronica is about to tell him about his dad's corporate transgressions, but Beaver points out that she has customers, so she hustles off. Veronica, if you're so concerned about making money, I'd suggest you get your grand from Beaver in cash before you take a bunch of zeroes off his net worth. VMVO talks about how guilty she feels to have to break this news to Beaver. I'd complain that I could see that emotion on Veronica's face, except I can't, because her catching sight of Jackie with a handsome, slightly older guy is causing a distinct cat-that-ate-the-canary look to cross her features. Veronica clears her throat, and Jackie's face falls a bit when she sees her. I don't know why, since Veronica SAID SHE WAS GOING TO BE WORKING, but I could buy that Jackie was too busy putting on her typical breathy my-life-is-a-debutante-ball voice at the time to take much notice of anything else. Veronica, with an edge, greets Jackie and "Random Dude," and Jackie, realizing that this isn't going anywhere good, drops the act and leads Random Dude to a table. Well, it's no catfight, but at least there's not going to be any more nonsense about not having the claws at the ready. Veronica goes back to the table to find Beaver gone. But he left behind a picture of a shirtless Logan, so you know he still cares. In the background, however, is Charisma, in the process of unbuttoning her top. Veronica looks down to find the Shuffle gone, as Courtney finishes telling us that love hurts. Again, not so much with the coincidences.

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Veronica Mars

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