Veronica Mars
Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 3 USERS: A+
Douglas Adams Had No Idea

Veronica finds Dick at his locker and asks him where Beaver is. Dick tells her that Beaver didn't come to school and, upon further questioning, reveals that Logan didn't either. He adds, "I thought it was just a coincidence, but now that I think about it..." He puts on a mock-scared face and bites his hand. Veronica makes an exasperated face and pulls out her Sidekick to make a call, but is interrupted by Wallace, Jackie on his arm, asking if they're on for watching the second half of Pride and Prejudice the next night. Jackie tries to make a joke, and Veronica asks if she isn't "busy." Nice to know that even when she's in the middle of single-handedly taking down a company and destroying a sham of a marriage, Veronica's not too busy to call this breathy bitch on her shit. Jackie smiles that she's totally free, and Wallace babbles about "Colin Fizzurth." I'm sensing that Wallace isn't going to be asked to narrate "Austen Novels On Tape" anytime soon. Veronica distractedly says that she'll be there, and once the doomed couple departs, she tries her call again. Logan's phone rings, but Charisma grabs it. That's the advantage of having pole position. She notes that the call is from "Veronica," and wonders if they should invite her to join them. Well, why not, Charisma? We already know she approves of your ass. Logan, not seeming at all bothered, tosses the phone away and pulls Charisma down. This scene's quite a bit sweatier than their last sex scene. Logan seems to perform better on the bottom.

Veronica gets Logan's voicemail, and his inspirational message of the day is: "To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best." I wonder if he'd find Big Dick castrating him for sleeping with Charisma so appealing. Veronica heads for the exit.

Chicago Dude comes out of a diner with some coffee, goes to a pay phone, and looks up Alicia in the directory. I'm starting to doubt that this guy's really a cop, because if he were, you'd think he'd have found Alicia through more high-tech means. Also, he wouldn't have ripped out the page from the phone book -- that's vandalism. On the plus side, it'll save Horace Felcher a ton of inquiring phone calls.

Casa De Killer. Veronica rings the doorbell, but there's no answer. She checks the driveway and sees Logan's Xterra.

Cut to Veronica entering Logan's bedroom. Veronica steps into the overturned-looking room to the sound of the shower running, but the noise quickly subsides, and Logan emerges from the bathroom dressed only in a towel. Jackie heaves a sigh of relief, as the towel quickly tops her on the "Most Hated Thing About Veronica Mars" internet poll. Veronica snarks that she loves what he's done with the place, and he blithely counters that now she knows what she was missing. I'm surprised Logan is so comfortable in that towel, because it's getting a little chilly in here. Veronica asks if his girlfriend is there and, upon further questioning, bites out that she's talking about Charisma. Logan: "That one is less a girlfriend and more a playmate." Yeah, I think we can all agree on the extreme validity of that statement. Veronica -- trying hard to pretend she doesn't care and yet, due to the deep talent of Kristen Bell, subtly yet clearly failing -- asks what he would have done if she were Big Dick. I'm guessing comparing notes would be the wrong answer. Veronica says that the poor little rich boy with a death wish is so clichéd, and the only reason she's there is so that she won't have to feel responsible for exposing his dalliances with Charisma: "Don't take it the wrong way, Logan. It was a job, nothing more." Logan, starting to care, notes that she's leaving "in a burst of professionalism." Veronica admonishes him to start locking his doors, and storms out. That is, until she sees a bunch of framed posters of Haaron's movies in the hallway and is stunned to realize that one of them is for The Long Haul. A lot of posters felt that Logan would have gotten rid of these images, but I could see him enjoying having them around. He is kind of twisted, you know. VMVO realizes that this was the movie that launched Haaron's career, and that it featured a stunt in which a truck went veering over a bridge, a stunt which just happened to be supervised and performed by Curly. Logan, now wearing a shirt, appears and notes that Veronica's version of "storming out" needs a little work. Veronica finally actually leaves, as Logan stands there eatin' an apple. It manages to be interesting when he does it.

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Veronica Mars




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