Veronica Mars
Clash Of The Tritons

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 6 USERS: A+
Hey, You Can Spell "Triton" Without "Trite"!

As they enter some bar-looking place, Veronica cautions Wallace to be careful, as the Tritons are bad news. Wallace mockingly says he's so, so afraid. Hee. Inside, they bear witness to a karaoke bar, where Duncan is hammily singing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot." Given how people like to read into EVERYTHING on this show, I'm surprised no one called this as foreshadowing Duncan's death. Don't tell Teddy Dunn I said that -- I don't want it to affect his performance. As Duncan gets his marks from the three "judges," VMVO tells us that she's sure the Tritons regard this initiation as painful for the pledges: "But, honestly, aren't we the real victims?" Well, it really depends on who's singing. But if it's going to be a bunch of drunken high-school boys, I'd agree that her warning to Wallace is looking less and less idle. Veronica confronts Duncan about the IDs in her locker and Coma Friend's coma, but Duncan will only respond to her in pangrams. She doesn't seem to pick up on that, but it must be part of his hazing ritual. It would have been a lot more fun if he'd had to speak only in tongue-twisters. I get tangled up just trying to type "She sells seashells by the seashore." And let's not even bring up Peter Piper. Veronica disgustedly walks away.

Sometime later, Veronica suggests to Wallace that they get out of there, but Duncan comes by and, with a wordless wry smile, hands her a note. It reads, "The judges hold the vital scores. You shall hear my voice once I've heard yours." It's signed, "The Great Triton." Veronica, not to spoil anything, but pay no attention to that second-rate Greek deity behind the stall, "curtain." The dude on stage finishes his song ("Hokey Pokey," if you can believe that), and the emcee comes out and announces the next singer, "Veronica Mars." Everyone starts chanting for her to sing. A few moments later, the actors in the bar follow suit. Veronica turns back to the note in alarm. Well, hon, you've got the commercial break to warm up those pipes.

Veronica steels herself and goes to the stage. She whispers something to the emcee -- presumably her song choice, although there's no way they could get it set up that quickly, but whatever. Veronica tells us that the song she's going to sing goes out to the Tritons, and Blondie's "One Way Or Another" kicks up. Hee. A little anvilicious? Probably. Do I care? Not a bit, because the message of the song is completely steamrolled by Veronica's over-the-top hamming, which is nice to see for three reasons: One, Veronica's genuinely enjoying herself, which, despite her quick wit and sunny smile, doesn't happen all that often. Two, she's getting some social acceptance, because the audience is into it. And three, if you're not hamming it up when you do karaoke, you're not in the same solar system as the point. The only thing off about this scene is the editing -- there are way too many quick cuts to the audience, and they're jarring and distract from Kristen Bell's performance. But the judges love her, and Duncan smiles. The emcee hands her a note with the Triton insignia on it. It says, "Meet me in the bathroom -- alone." Whoa, dude. It's not like she sang "Call Me."

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Veronica Mars




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