Veronica Mars
Clash Of The Tritons

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 6 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Hey, You Can Spell "Triton" Without "Trite"!

Inside, as Veronica fidgets with BSK!'s stapler, BSK! exposits that, after Lilly's death, Veronica was inconsolable, and that she hopes that Veronica will be able to talk about it now, so that she can come to terms with it. Veronica, while idly continuing to play with the stapler, smiles big and says, "Wow. I have that exact same platitude-a-day calendar at home. It's how I know beauty comes from within." Hee. But outer beauty doesn't hurt either, although it can lead to stalkers. (Tip for Jason Dohring and Francis Capra: Keep those wedding rings on. If you take them off for any reason, the forum posters will know.) BSK! notes that Veronica doesn't care for her. The combination of Veronica's sarcasm and the "Out, vile jelly" vibe she's sending with the stapler must be what finally tipped her off. BSK! starts to suggest that Veronica talk to someone else, but Veronica apologizes for being rude, and clarifies that talking is the problem -- she wants to use her grief as fuel. In one of the innumerable instances of character consistency on this show, I'll point out that that's exactly how she behaved with the counselor her mom made her see. Noting that it's making BSK! nervous, Veronica puts the stapler back on the desk, but she doesn't set it down properly, and it falls. With an apologetic smile, she reaches down to pick it up, but instead pulls out an identical-looking one from her bag and switches it for the original. Ooh, sneaky. BSK! asks how Veronica's going to find closure. Veronica, with a steely look: "I'll find closure when Lilly's killer's rotting away in prison." BSK! just stares. I hope you didn't do it, BSK!. There are easier ways to get government grants, after all. Why not murder the environment instead?

Some dude is looking at what looks like contact sheets in the journalism area. Another dude comes in with a note summoning him to the principal's office. The dude looks like he just got busted shoplifting. In Les Miserables.

Office. The guy, "Rick," sits down in front of VP Clemmons and Officer Fuckface. Fuckface quickly starts berating Rick, saying that Rick's buddy "Tim," whom he was out with the night before, is in an alcohol-induced coma. Also, Rick apparently tossed an unconscious Tim out of his car at the hospital at 1:30 AM. Rick stammers that he didn't have a choice, but Fuckface grabs his arm, revealing stamps from several different bars. They're all kind of bright and pastelly, making me wonder exactly what kind of bars they were. This was hazing here, after all. Fuckface wants to know how they got in. The answer is fake IDs, and Fuckface, examining Rick's, says those IDs been all over the place, and they've got to be coming from Neptune High. As an aside, I'm surprised Fuckface didn't bring up the whole issue of Rick, a probable minor, drinking and driving, particularly since his blood-alcohol content would likely have registered on a breathalyzer as "Billy Martin." Fuckface leans on Rick for his supplier, and Rick slowly stands. We get a close-up of his mouth as he intones, "Veronica Mars." Fuckface looks like Christmas has spilled over into January. And given how good this episode is, he's right.

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Veronica Mars

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