Veronica Mars
Clash Of The Tritons

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 6 USERS: A+
Hey, You Can Spell "Triton" Without "Trite"!

Veronica rounds a corner to see Fuckface and Clemmons in front of her locker. She makes an "oh, what-EVER" face, although I'd have thought she'd be a little more fazed, considering this is one locker search she didn't know about in advance. Maybe she just thinks that Fuckface has nothing better to do, and I have a hard time disagreeing with her there. Clemmons informs Veronica that Fuckface would like to search her locker, and I'm sure she hadn't figured that out, what with her being a PI IN TRAINING AND ALL. As she playfully turns the combination lock, she idly asks them what they expect to find. Fuckface tells her about the fake IDs. She tells them she hates to disappoint them, as the locker swings open. A bunch of blank fake California driver's licenses fall to the floor in slow motion like snow. The South American kind, given their felonious nature. By the way, the shield on Fuckface's jacket says "Balboa County," which is in Newport Beach. Oh, Fuckface -- as if your character wasn't bad enough. Now you've launched what I believe is referred to as "crossover fic." Veronica drops the cutesy act for a second and says the stuff in the locker isn't hers. Fuckface searches Veronica's wallet, and finds a bunch of fake IDs -- one Lilly Kane's driver's license, one a license for a twenty-two-year-old Veronica, a San Diego State student ID, and one that certifies Veronica as a licensed massage therapist. Oh, remember when I complained that there's no way Veronica could pass for Lilly? It's Veronica's picture on Lilly's ID. Also, she probably made the San Diego State ID for use in "The Wrath Of Con," as that's where the internet-scam kids went. Man, this show rules. And since it's gotten to the point where there's really nothing bad to say about it, it doesn't really fit our profile anymore, so I'm afraid this is going to be the last TWoP recap for this show.

Jeez, kidding! Heh. As Bugs Bunny would say, Ain't I a stinker? (Did you ever notice that Bugs wasn't a very nice bunny?)

Veronica goes sunny again as she realizes she's totally busted, and assures Fuckface that he doesn't need to handcuff her. Fuckface: "You're right about that. But I'm going to anyway." Veronica looks shocked, but I don't know why. You can't expect a guy to extend professional courtesy when the words "professional" and "courtesy" aren't in his vocabulary individually. Clemmons adds insult to injury by telling Veronica she's suspended for three days, and just to put a nice rotten cherry on this ice cream sundae of annoyance, the bell rings, and kids pile out in the hallway to witness Veronica being led away with her hands cuffed behind her back. Logan's there to give her a nice sarky salute, while Fuckface should consider using Veronica as a shield to cover his massive hard-on. "Massive," as always, being a relative term. A girl snaps a photo of the moment. VMVO: "Gosh, I hope they use that shot in the yearbook." I doubt it, Veronica. Because by the time it comes out, that photo will have been seen on the internet more times than Paris Hilton's sex video. And between the handcuffs and your reputation at this school, said viewings will have been used for purposes just as nasty. Credits.

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Veronica Mars




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