Veronica Mars
Clash Of The Tritons

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 6 USERS: A+
Hey, You Can Spell "Triton" Without "Trite"!

Veronica puts a tracker on Duncan's car. Geez, at this rate, she's going to know what everyone's saying and doing. Good thing she's not a believer in therapy, because her bills would be through the roof.

Zoom in on Logan, sitting nervously outside Clemmons's office. Haaron sweeps out, and Logan asks how long he got. His delivery suggests that this is a question he's asked many times, and that's confirmed by Haaron informing him that they have to return on Friday for a disciplinary hearing. Oh, nothing's going to happen to him. I mean, his dad can't be out of cheesy movie costumes yet. Outside, Haaron tells Logan he's not happy he was fighting, but that he's proud of him for sticking up for Lynn. Oh, that comment is rich. Lucky thing it's in good company. Logan contemptuously says that now he can die happy, and Haaron menaces that he might just help arrange that. Before the scene can turn ugly, however, Lynn walks up and smilingly asks if everything is okay. Everything's great, Lynn! Let's all sing the Barney theme song!

Mars Investigations. Veronica bustles in to find Cliff sitting at her desk. She apologizes for being late, but Cliff gives a pointed nod, and Keith appears from the kitchen with an "Explain yourself, young lady" look on his face. Veronica: "Hi Dad! Their case is fuzzy and circumstantial!" Keith smiles to Cliff: "You know the odd thing? Those were also her very first words." Well, if I had a kid, I can't imagine that those words would be high on the list of "sentences that fill me with fatherly pride." Also, I'm not sure whether hearing them from a toddler or from a teenager would be the more disturbing. Veronica babbles out the story about Rick and the Tritons, but the adults inform her that Coma Friend's parents are suing just about everyone in town, including them. True story: When I was in college, this guy got so drunk he climbed up on the shuttle train that ran onto campus. No matter how blurry his vision at that point, you'd think he would have been able to read the sign that said "10,000 VOLTS," considering the type was so big that Hans Moleman could read it without glasses. But he got electrocuted and lost parts of one arm and both legs, and successfully sued the university, the railroad, and several other local institutions. And not only did he not stop drinking after that, he used to entertain his idiot friends by feeding his guide dog beer. My point? Coma Friend's family members are assholes, and if Coma Friend wakes up, I have no doubt he's still going to fit right in. Anyway, Cliff says that the lawsuit could be worth millions, and everyone looks worried. Too bad you shredded those test results, Veronica. It might be handy right now to have a dad who pays more in annual taxes than most people see in a lifetime or ten.

Mars Investigations. Keith's lying on the couch when Haaron enters holding a couple of magazines. Keith offers him some water as Haaron sits down with a wince: "So, I guess I should have canceled that party after all." Keith chuckles, failing to add, "You also probably shouldn't have banged a psycho, told her you loved her, and tossed her out with the trash." One thing you obviously have to learn as a PI is restraint. Haaron pops some pills, so at least his wound is still causing him some pain. He tells Keith that the tabloid stories are tearing his family apart, and his daughter "Trina" is the only one who'll still talk to him. Well, if she's on his side, that probably means she and Logan aren't so much the loving brother and sister. Which, if half the forum posters' theories about siblings on this show are correct, will be a refreshing change around here. Haaron says he can't blame Logan or Lynn for the scandal, which means that his powers of rationalization only go so far. But I'd be happy to give him the number of a crazy ex-friend of mine any time he wants to go pro. Don't worry, even if she's reading this, she wouldn't think it's her. Sort of a twist on the "You're So Vain" mindset. Keith asks who would be privy to the Echolls family secrets, and Haaron can't think of any prime suspects. Keith says he'll dig around, but Haaron cautions him that Lynn is fragile: "I don't know how much more scandal she can take." Looking at my DVR, my estimation is just over half an hour. Keith reassures Haaron, and then leans in for a round of tonsil hockey. Well, not really, but another foot or so and there would have been absolutely nothing else to do.

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Veronica Mars




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