Veronica Mars
Credit Where Credit's Due

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 6 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Skank Side Story

Before I get started, props to KarmicVictory for telling me that ceramics classes are always filled with guys making bongs. And to think I was stuck taking drafting and graphic arts in high school. Damned practical, non-mind-altering classes.

Previously: The pilot. It was good.

School. Veronica opens her locker. Sadly, it appears as though she's gotten rid of the photo of VP Travers. Wallace asks her what she has going on that night, since it's Friday. She says she might take Backup for a run or rent a movie. Wallace: "Congratulations. You're officially Neptune High's most boring person." Take heart, Wallace. You don't have far to go to get the title back. Veronica asks what he wants to do, and he gives her a small flyer that, other than the words "Blowout" and "K9," looks like a printout of a tarot card. Veronica -- apparently getting more from the flyer than, it seems, is there -- asks if he wants to crash the "oh-niner party," and explains that an oh-niner is "someone who lives in the prestigious 90909 zip code." She goes on that the invitation is in code, and that the party is at "Dog Beach" that night. Veronica says that the code is to keep the undesirable kids away. Considering how people treated her in the pilot, I'm surprised there's not a big "X" over a picture of a girl with flippy hair on the flyer. Or better yet, a picture of the solar system with an "X" over the fourth planet. I should make those flyers! (Hey, I'll do anything to put off recapping The Mountain.) But really, why don't they just have the party on someone's boat? With the amount of money these kids are supposed to have, and the fact that it's a seaside town, I'd think they'd be able to put together a whole drunken regatta. And given my impressions of them so far, I kind of wish they would. Wallace unnecessarily asks how Veronica knows that, and she unnecessarily responds that she used to be one of them. I wouldn't have guessed, but the forty-seven flashbacks in the last episode sort of got me thinking that might be the case, and the previouslies made me just about certain. But thanks.

Beach. Cups. Beer. Dancing. Korn's version of "Word Up" plays. Really. Duncan and Iceman from X2's twin brother sit in a car. In keeping with how old the song is, they talk about "burn[ing] this mother down" and "rais[ing] the roof and "get[ting] jiggy wit' it." I give them the benefit of the doubt that they're being ironic, but still, way to party, with the not drinking and not ogling chicks and not doing any of the things that rich teenaged straight guys do. (I think I just accidentally gave birth to a HoYay! thread. Hate it when that happens.) Anyway, the point of this scene is to establish that Duncan isn't completely on board with being a total asshole rich boy. And I think I speak for everybody when I say this with all sincerity: Boo fricking hoo, rich boy. I will, however, concede that he had a better reason for staying in the car than I thought, as we get our first look at Paris "Special Guest Star, Hee Hee, Good One" Hilton. I would have come out of the car quicker for Cujo. Oh, and I buy Paris Hilton being in high school about as much as I would buy Bea Arthur still being in her child-bearing years. Paris is apparently with Logan, and if putting her with him is an effort to make him look less odious by comparison...well, it's not working, but points for the effort. Logan calls Duncan and Icetwin over, and asks, "Who's your date?" See what I mean? Paris babbles, "Troy Vandergraff. His father's the architect who built the County Museum." Whatever, Hilton. Somewhat clunky exposition follows to establish that Icetwin and Paris know each other from the marina, and was I right about the drunken regatta? Also, Icetwin was supposed to be going "back East" for school, like this is The Great Brain or something, but his parents decided to stay in "SoCal," so he's enrolling at Neptune High on Monday.

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Veronica Mars

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