Cut to Desmond emptying four or five airplane bottles of liquor into the drink container simultaneously. Hee. Jeff Ratner, who ostensibly took up the luggage, and Piz exchange "this is a little uncomfortable" side-eyes, and then Desmond asks what Ratner is still doing there. Ratner, unbowed as ever, says that he's waiting for the tip. "It's a customary thing. In America." I wonder if that's a nod to the fact that this character was originally supposed to be British. But believe me, if PAUL RUDD! (sorry, couldn't help it) couldn't do a good British accent, I'm glad they dropped the idea. I mean, you'd think he'd be hot enough to get away with it, but if Ben Browder failed that test, even PAUL RUDD! would be in trouble. Desmond pulls out a folded-up napkin, signs it, and hands it to Ratner: "That'll get you twenty bones on eBay." Hee. Ratner's confused, gets no less so when Desmond identifies himself, and leaves. Desmond then tells "Fez" that he's going to take a nap, and that would be a funny bit if Wilmer Valderrama hadn't ruined it for the rest of us. He opens the door to the bedroom, where he finds a woman dressed only in a leopard-print bra and panties on the bed. Desmond's intrigued, but when he enters and the woman says he told her to surprise him, it's clear that there's been a misunderstanding. The woman looks like she's pushing forty, and we learn that they've been trading IMs, but it becomes readily apparent that she's not what Desmond was expecting, so she mortifiedly starts getting dressed as Desmond drops off his bag and his drink, reemerges from the room, and closes the door with a half-horrified look on his face. Hee.
Sometime later, the woman, now fully dressed, stalks out of the room. Desmond languidly tells her to come see the show (and he actually says "Do come see the show," which is another slight indication that the British thing was dropped at the last minute), and to Piz, she bites out, "Advice? Never meet your idol." I think he might be seeing the wisdom in that around now. When she's gone, Desmond tells Piz, "More advice? Always confirm the accuracy of photos." Given how this episode's going to go, he should really be dispensing that bit of wisdom to Logan. Desmond asks about the availability of local beaches, and then suggests they go to Mexico. Piz, with a smile, tells him that's not in the cards, but Desmond asks why not, as the gig is off. He shows Piz his knapsack, which he says had the backing tapes in them, but now only holds a blue bathrobe, which he reveals by pulling it out. Piz wishes Arnold had known just a little bit more about My Pretty Pony as we head into the opening credits.