...but we don't get to hear it, as we cut to the parents leaving. Veronica is at her desk with some paraphernalia strewn across it. She gives Keith a cock-and-bull story about having to take a self-administered HIV test, and adds that she's feeling a little squeamish. Keith: "This is so endearing. My bad-ass, action-figure daughter is afraid to draw a teensy little drop of blood." I'd watch it there, Keith. Even if you buy that Veronica's got a problem with her own blood, it doesn't necessarily follow that she's got a problem with anyone else's. Veronica continues to lay it on, and gets Keith to give her some of his blood as a proxy for hers. Pretty sneaky, Sis. Said Duncan. Keith tells Veronica that those were Casey Gant's parents in his office, and asks if Veronica knows Casey. Veronica says she does, but that he's just a typical asshole 09er. Um, are you telling me that everyone in school wouldn't know after six weeks that an 09er kid had joined a cult? Especially Veronica, who works for the newspaper and is a detective? Someone should check the soil that's feeding the Neptune High grapevine, because I think it's got high levels of contrivance. Veronica's amused that Casey joined a cult, and Keith tells her that since he's eighteen, the law can't do anything, but that if he and Veronica get Casey back to his parents, they're offering a $5,000 bonus. Given the money we later learn Casey's coming into, that's pretty fucking low. There's not wanting to look suspicious by offering too much, and then there's just being a tight-ass. Nevertheless, the news about the bonus gets the Marses both excited. I'm glad the waterbed is nowhere nearby.
Keith tells Veronica that the Gants are paying them to find proof of any illegal activity in Cultyland. Since Casey is still going to school, Keith wants Veronica to see if she can find anything out, but under no circumstances is she to go to the compound. To make sure she understands he really means it, Keith asks, "Nous comprenons-nous?" Because if there's any way to make yourself taken seriously in today's world, it's to bust out the French. When Keith goes into his office, VMVO confesses that the story she told Keith about the HIV test was bullshit. Considering that it involved getting extra credit in Health class, I don't think we needed VMVO's help with that one. Anyway, she's sending the sample to an online company that does paternity testing. I'm not too sanguine about a company being allowed to give test results of blood they didn't draw, nor do I think that notifying people by mail of this stuff is a good idea, for much the same reason doctors don't give HIV results by mail or even over the phone, in my experience. Not everyone is going to have the shock of learning the man who raised her isn't her father cushioned by the fact that her real dad could buy, say, Hawaii. VMVO: "I need to know, without a doubt, who my father is." You're not the only one, if the collective ire of the forums is any indication.