Veronica Mars
Driver Ed

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 2 USERS: A
Clerk. We Only Need One...

Wallace is checking out an old green Hyundai when a girl on crutches appears and asks what he's doing. Some extra passes by wearing a bus shirt, and I'm not going to get tired of that anytime soon. Wallace greets the girl on crutches as "Jane," and asks what happened. Jane had knee surgery a month ago, and also, Wallace has never said two words to her before, despite their having classes together and Jane seeming to be into him. Wallace, she's cute enough. Plus, even if she turns out to be a stalker, she won't be able to tail him very quickly. Some guy appears, whom Jane introduces as Bob, her "chauffeur friend," but dorks that he's just a friend. Okay, Wallace, I was wrong -- she's too clingy. She'd probably break your toe with one of her crutches. Also, you may not be seeing much of Jane in the near future, because her designated driver is going to kill himself now that he's been slapped with the "friend" label.

Chez Jessie. The girl in question, who looks a little like Michelle Williams with half-decent hair, serves Veronica some fake iced tea, and speculates that her dad's calling someone before the accident is a good sign. Veronica agrees that it might be, not bothering to point out that it sort of depends what he said. If he called the funeral home to warn them that they shouldn't even think about an open casket, it would actually be negative. Veronica asks whether Jessie recognizes the name "Cotter," since that's the recipient of the call, whose address is in Jessie's apartment complex. Jessie is unfamiliar with the name, and says that her dad never hung out with the neighbors. Well, I'll concede that he probably didn't hang out with them in the complex. But that school bus is awfully empty at night. I wonder exactly what it was that Dick smelled. The doorbell rings, and Jessie answers it to find Lamb, who has a search warrant, since if Driver Ed intended to crash the bus, he's guilty not only of suicide but also of murder. Lamb, with a sardonic smile, asks what Veronica's doing there. Veronica looks defiantly at him and says, "Jessie's a friend." Lamb's smile fades, because he hates having to look words up.

BANG! Big Dick is shooting a target with deadly precision. With that kind of prowess, it's hard to believe Charisma needs any side action. Little Dick, on the other hand, shoots way too quickly and all over the place, which also explains a lot. Logan takes a few shots with skill somewhere in between Big and Little Dick. Big Dick asks Logan if he's ever shot before, and the answer is no, which is hard to believe, given his penchant for violence and his dad's extensive belt collection. Big Dick tells Logan that if he's going to shoot someone, he should take them down, not wing them. Well, with Haaron in jail, it's nice to know that someone is stepping up to give Logan horrible fatherly advice. Big Dick goes on to overshare that when he's working, his family doesn't exist. Dick gives a somewhat ambiguous smile there, so I'm not sure what he thinks of that statement, but I'd be willing to bet that Beaver's response would be, "You work an awful lot." Big Dick says that, conversely, when he's with his family, work doesn't exist. I'd like to see the existential problem for Big Dick if his kids ever showed up at the office. Ceci n'est pas une famille. Logan smiles that his dad has a similar philosophy: "Of course, he's a murderer." Hee. Surprisingly, Big Dick doesn't rush to laugh, but does eventually give a somewhat bewildered smile. He goes back to his booth, and Little Dick tells Logan they should have some "chicks" over the next night, since his dad and stepmom will be attending a banquet at the Neptune Grand. Logan suggests his sprawling, parentless house might be more appropriate for the seduction of girls with low standards, but Little Dick tells him, "Only psycho chicks want to go to Casa de Killer." Well, that may be, but I bet there are a lot of them. ["Furthermore, Logan's reminder that he lives alone just leads to the question of why he and Charisma would be holding their assignations at her place." -- Wing Chun] Logan fakes a laugh, but when Little Dick walks away, Logan shoots his target right in the heart.

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Veronica Mars




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