Veronica Mars
Driver Ed

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 2 USERS: A
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Clerk. We Only Need One...

In the hall, Jackie puts on a mock-dumb voice as she thanks Wallace for taking her. She goes on to say that she hasn't dated a guy in high school since the eighth grade, but Wallace is undeterred, saying he's an old soul. He's helping his case there, because while that's a horrible pickup line, most guys don't learn it until at least their sophomore year in college. Jackie ribs him for being a nice guy, but it's clear that she actually likes him. He smiles that she's one of those girls who only likes bad boys: "Why do all the hottest girls always have a daddy complex?" I don't know, but from the look on Jackie's face, you might have to wait for your answer until after she's done disemboweling you. Wallace says he was kidding, but Jackie sarcastically tells him that she's only known him for, like, three seconds, and he's already got her analyzed. Well, in relative terms, they've known each other a lot longer now than when she assumed he wanted to date her. Jackie pushes past him, and he apologizes again. She turns with the look of death still on her face, but suddenly recovers, smiles, and tries to play off the fact that she was pissed. Her line is pretty funny, I'm told, but she garbles it so badly I won't be transcribing it. Wallace buys what she's selling. So much for him being ahead of the curve.

Speaking of which, Logan is boinking Charisma. He says that their "afternoon delight" is better than a marble-mouthed delivery. Well, he said something else, but Logan appears to be, along with Jackie, taking up the slack for Deputy Leo in the unclear line delivery department. Enunciate, kid. Charisma says Logan needs to keep quiet about the whole high-school thing, since there's "an ick factor." Well, there might be if they were doing anything, but this is an oddly limp scene, no pun intended. Charisma says something about wearing a "naughty schoolgirl uniform," and clearly she's no believer in karma if she doesn't want ick coming her way. Because, ick. Charisma says that Logan's her first younger guy, and Logan says it's "an honor and a privilege." And then we're out, even if Logan isn't.

Duncan finds Veronica waiting for him at his car. She's like, "I suck." Well, you do now. Duncan says he was just trying to make her feel better, and he's "struggling with all this too." Oy. I'm just going to let that one go. Veronica kisses and embraces him, and then tells him she has all these conflicting emotions: Grief for those who died, guilt over Meg, joy for being alive. NN: Good speech, huh? I know some people say "show, don't tell," but I learned "show and tell" a lot earlier in life! Suck it, Robert McKee! Duncan listens to her whole speech without a trace of an indication that he's experiencing any of the same emotions, and tells her it's not her fault. Veronica: "I'm afraid that line only works in Good Will Hunting." Yeah, and even there, it starts to get stale around the eighty-seventh time. In that one freakin' scene. Duncan laughs. NN: Pretty eyes, huh?

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Veronica Mars

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