Veronica Mars
Green-Eyed Monster

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 3 USERS: A-
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When You Assume...

Ahh, Mars Investigations, how I've missed you. The campaign posters littering the set that read "Keith Mars for Sheriff" only add to the warm feeling. Veronica is on the phone, learning that Meg has been released from ICU. She makes a note of the visiting hours and hangs up as a thirty-ish woman enters and says she needs to hire a detective. I think she might actually need to hire a lawyer to defend herself against doing a poor impression of Elle Woods. I mean, if you're going to wear that much pink, own it with a little dog and a pillbox hat. Veronica tells the woman Mars Investigations is not usually open on Sundays, but the woman (whose name we'll learn is Julie Bloch, which is a shout-out to yofietofie from the boards) says it's an emergency: she found an engagement ring in her boyfriend's gym bag, so she needs to have him investigated. Considering what she finds out later, she could have saved herself a lot of trouble by just having the ring appraised. Veronica offers to take down her information and relay it to Keith, so Julie says that her boyfriend's name is "Colin Nevin." Veronica says that the standard package includes a garden-variety background check, but that the premium package involves getting to know some of the bf's friends and "chat[ting] up an ex or two." So they charge more for the awkward. Julie says that she's afraid Colin is talking to an ex, since he lives off a trust fund and has a lot of free time. Considering Julie doesn't seem to have much to do other that sit around and obsess over her boyfriend's movements, I'd say that's the pot calling the kettle hot pink. Also, Julie's worrying that Colin doesn't have enough money for her when he's living the life of a trust-fund baby with no help from her makes little sense, so I'm guessing we're meant to think, from minute one, that Julie is totally irrational when it comes to her boyfriend. I can work with that. Veronica offers the "Silver Package," which is the premium package plus surveillance. Phone records, email monitoring -- "It's basically an all-access pass to what he's doing when you're not looking." Julie says she'll take it, and if that's the level of trust in her relationship, it's going to end badly one way or the other. I wonder if the "Gold Package" includes post-investigation therapy. Julie's phone rings, and she breezily tells Veronica that it's Colin, who thinks she's at yoga. Well, I can see where he thinks you could use one of the more meditative disciplines. Julie hands Veronica her card, and Veronica happily tells her that Keith will review her case.

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Veronica Mars

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