Veronica Mars
Happy Go Lucky

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B | 6 USERS: A-
The Wood(s)man

Back in court, Keith has taken the stand and is explaining how he saved Veronica from Haaron at the end of last season. Slimy explains Haaron's interpretation of events: Veronica lost control of her car and crashed it; she and Haaron knocked on the door of a nearby house, asked the owner to call a tow, and they both waited for it on the man's porch. Keith arrived, "saw [Veronica] in a compromising position with Mr. Echolls," and started a fight with Haaron. Slimy says that this version of events -- which doesn't exactly address the whole issue of the fridge set on fire, unless, while rolling around fighting, Keith and Haaron accidentally tipped over the gas can, poured it all over the fridge, and lit it, accidentally -- has been corroborated by the home owner. Prosecution objects that said home owner went missing before being questioned by the state. Next, Slimy asks Keith whether his daughter has ever lied to him. Heh. Veronica inspects her shoes, because she's never told them a lie. Discretion being the better part of valor, Keith chooses to go the "teenage girls fib, sir" route rather than the "well, there was this time she helped her boyfriend abduct a baby and skip town" route. Slimy asks whether Keith expects he's been told the truth on the "big issues." Keith says he does, which: dumb. Because: chlamydia. Also: he's got to know by this point that Slimy's got something to back this up. Slimy brings up Veronica breaking into the Mannings' house and also how she turns up in Leo's disciplinary file for sneaking into the records room while he was on duty. I'd look for a hyperlink, but she did that in pretty much every episode in Season 1, right? Also, not to nitpick, but wouldn't Keith have known Leo's disciplinary file pretty well after investigating him for lifting the sex tapes? Yet Keith says he didn't know. And then Slimy brings up that very investigation! It's madness! The guest recapper shouldn't be able to spot a continuity error on this show, and certainly not one that blatant. Which makes me think I missed something, though it's all kind of right there in the open. Whatever. Anyway. Slimy suggests a scenario in which Veronica used her clap-ridden feminine wiles to seduce one "boyfriend" (Leo -- air quotes courtesy of Slimy, by the by) into giving the tapes to another "boyfriend" (Logan) so as to destroy them in the hopes exonerating yet another "boyfriend" (Duncan). That's too many air quotes and too few feet between himself and Keith on Slimy's part. Keith grabs Slimy by the tie and yanks his head halfway into the witness box: "Any more air quotes and I'll break those fingers off." The judge wants Keith escorted to a jail cell for contempt or whatever, but Slimy waives the bailiff off. He's already gotten the good guy to act crazed. Also, Madam Prosecutor, way to not object to Slimy's line of speculation that had no bearing on the witness whatsoever. I'm no law-talkin' guy, but you'd think the prosecution would have at least given that a shot. "Your honor! Speculation!" I'm sure I've heard that one on TV before.

Neptune High study room. Probably a math classroom, what with the giant Pi symbol on the wall. Mac is correcting Weevil's work, as Beav looks on from behind her. Her red pen seems to be getting a workout. Weevil says that if she puts one more "X" on his paper, they're going to have a problem. "I'd put little smiley faces," says Mac, "but I don't know if that's gonna sell 'wrong.'" Beaver backseat-tutors that she went too fast on differential equations. Mac's all "bitch, please." Beav says that she plowed right through: "Even I didn't know what you were talking about." Mac says that's no surprise. Beav asks whether she's saying that he's smarter than he is. Weevil looks around for something sharp and stabby. Mac says that if she wanted to tell Beav she was smarter than he, it'd sound a lot more like "I'm smarter than you." Beaver literally can't stop smiling, because math flirting is the best flirting there is. "Math clubbers do it until they approach the limit," or some such phrase that would probably turn out cleverer if I hadn't blocked out all memories of Pre-Calc. Beav: "If this is what you need to do to feel better about yourself." Mac, to Weevil: "If I get you an 'A,' will you shiv him?" Weevil's had about all the cute he can stand and suggests that the two "lovebirds" find a coat room, work out their aggression, and then actually teach him some damn Algebra. Of course, he doesn't realize how poor Beav's been unwilling/unable to "work out his aggression" in that manner at all, and if you think that it doesn't scare the shit out of me with one (unspoiled) episode to go, well.... Never mind, not even thinking about it, because right now: Beav and Mac are grinning at each other like the cutest cutes to ever cute; Weevil would give anything for a rocket launcher; and I'm writing the CW and demanding a Three's Company-esque spinoff for the fall.

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Veronica Mars




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