Veronica Mars
Happy Go Lucky

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Wood(s)man

Neptune High, at the outdoor...table...area. Shut up, southern California and your constant sunshine and outdoor everything. Veronica has her nose inside a book, as a box of rather yummy-looking cupcakes gets dropped in front of her. The cupcakes are drizzled with garish chocolate icing and have bright pink flowers on top, so it should come as no surprise that they're from Gia, who thanks Veronica for saving her life. Veronica: "What do I have to do for a pie?" Gia -- who may have had her sense of humor molested at a young age -- doesn't get it, so Veronica has to explain the concept of humor. She doesn't specifically say how Veronica's brand of humor involves her mocking the shit out of you for being lame, but it's sort of implied. She tells Gia that she really does have a lot of studying to do, so.... Gia: "I knew it. You're mad at me." Why, Gia? Because you were a total bitch to her when your creepy-ass dad tried to stick Keith with a dead-or-dying campaign floozy? Lucky for Gia, Veronica Mars is nicer than I, because she assures Gia's annoying ass that things are fine -- it's just the studying. Gia suggests studying for their Health final together. I'm sorry, Health? Needs to be studied for this extensively? In my high school, Health was alternately titled, "Duck out to the yearbook room and take a nap class." But who can resist a study date at the Goodman house? Veronica agrees, and I'd like to think that she has special future-knowing powers and realizes access to the Goodman home will come in handy. Because if she somehow isn't clairvoyant, I can't imagine she'd want to return to the scene of the sleepover anytime soon.

Exit Gia; enter Jackie and Wallace. Upgrade! Well, wait. It's Jackie and someone, but we don't see that someone right away because his head is buried inside Veronica's box of cupcakes. Yeah, it's Wallace. It's a good thing he and Jackie are having all the sex now, because dude never stops eating, and it's the off-season, so he could use the exercise. Veronica's all, "Dudes. Studying." "Not me, baby," says Wallace. "I'm cruisin' through this week." Veronica asks Jackie whether Wallace, for real, just called her "baby." Jackie simply smiles and nods and smiles a hundred-and-fifty watts some more, because her boyfriend is the bestest and the dorkiest. Wallace mentions his Hearst scholarship again, and Veronica has to remind him/exposition that she has to ace all her finals, and hope that Angie Dahl fucks up one of her finals, and even that might not be enough for the Kane Scholarship so she can go to Stanford. Jackie's grinning like a loon still, which means she either enjoys seeing Veronica suffering a little bit or else Wallace had a lot better beginner's luck than Duncan did. "Do you know how long I've wanted to go to Stanford?" Veronica asks. Wallace guesses since middle school. "Elementary, my dear Wallace." Veronica admits that she's been holding on to that crack for a while. Jackie makes the most reasonable point that Veronica is so hell-bent on going to Stanford with Angie Dahl when Wallace, Mac, and Keith will all be in Neptune. Not to mention George-Michael and Maeby. Seriously, though. Like she's going to be rid of rich assholes at Stanford? I'm surprised it's taken so long for this point to be made. And while it might seem weird that the voice of the fans is coming out of Jackie's mouth, it makes sense, as we'll see...right now. Wallace says that's a funny thing for the girl headed to the Sorbonne to say. Jackie says that with her dad all laid up and incarcerated and shit, she might stick around, after all. It's encouraging that Jackie's not putting her future on hold for Wallace. Less encouraging is that she is putting her future on hold so she can nurse her daddy issues. Uh, literally. Veronica kindly requests some peace and quiet, while Jackie heads to the snack bar. Wallace sticks around, I guess because he's been wondering just how potent Veronica's left hook is, though, he does acquiesce to a non-verbal "zip it" request. That lasts about a second and a half, as Wallace has to alert Veronica of a looming Weevil. You don't want Weevil looming, whether you've stopped thinking he's the bus killer or not. Props to the continuity, as Wallace still regards Weevil as something to keep at arm's length at all times. It comes back at the end of the episode, too.

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Veronica Mars

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