Veronica Mars
Happy Go Lucky

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Wood(s)man

The Woodmanse. Veronica and Gia are studying, and wouldn't you know, Gia is being whiny and annoying. She suggests a study break, while Veronica was thinking more like a practice test. While Gia futzes around with her MySpace -- she used to have, like, a thousand friends and now she's down to nine hundred something! -- Veronica fakes like her laptop just crashed and asks Gia whether she could use one of her family's computers instead. Lucky for Veronica, Gia is too caught up with her MySpace to pull the practice test up on her own laptop. Lucky, also, that the computer Gia points her toward -- in the guest room -- is one that hasn't downloaded the threatening emails yet. Seems to me that a whole lot of people on this show were quite lucky this week. Except, of course, poor Lucky. Veronica pulls out Keith's list of aliases Lucky used to email Woody and brings up the relevant emails. A quick perusal courtesy of the pause button reveals handles such as "misterclean223," "katchenup1," and something with "wrongvsright" in it. Veronica finds a total of five messages from Lucky and forwards them to Keith's email. Then, she finds another email, apparently not sent by Lucky. The address is all numbers -- "22679088" for those of you with Lost tendencies -- and the subject reads, "kill incorporation or else." Veronica is intrigued, so she opens the email to find an audio file of a phone conversation between two young-sounding males. There's also some French-speakingness in the background -- so this is a total dig at Lost, then? -- but the conversation goes like this: "We have to tell people what Woody did to the three of us. It's going to come out some day. A couple of the Sharks had to know about it. They'll come forward. Things like this don't stay secret." "Damn right. Woody's a pervert. He's sick. What he did to us was wrong. We were just kids." Veronica's gobsmacked, because she hasn't seen the last handful of episodes. She scrambles to forward this email to Keith, as well, but as it's sending, the door to the guest room creaks open and Woody Goodman's creeptastic voice asks Veronica what she's doing in there. Commercials! Save us!

So Woody's looming in the doorway like the malevolent scout master he is, and his body language is all menacing and blocking all exit points, though his voice is still the same faux-glad-handing it always is. Veronica's email gets sent the instant before Woody gets a look at the computer screen, and she explains her practice test alibi. He leans over her and wonders how she did on the test, the insincerity dripping off of him: "Are you as smart as you think you are?" "I hope so," Veronica squeaks. She'd like to get back to Gia now. And the sweet, sweet freedom of anywhere but here. Woody excuses her and she hot-foots it back to the study table, where Gia is now not, and quickly grabs her things. As she's bolting, Gia emerges from the kitchen with ice cream sundaes. "Study fuel." Then the music cues go all Halloween on us, as Woody leans on the doorway, across the room and, from our perspective, over Veronica's shoulder. She says that she feels a headache coming on and has to go. Woody speaks and gives her the full-body shivers, saying that it must have been all that staring at the computer screen that did it. Oh, and also how the Goodmans' never has any lights on, ever. No wonder Gia's so goddamn pale and Woody had to set up residence inside a Mystic Tan booth. Maybe now, Veronica will remember to never come back here, ever. It never goes well. ["This was still better than the sleepover, though." -- Couch Baron]

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Veronica Mars

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