Veronica Mars
Happy Go Lucky

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B | 5 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
The Wood(s)man

Back at the Mars pad, Veronica plays the recording for her dad, noting the French-speakers in the background. ["Jackie speaks French, yo. What does that mean? I don’t know." -- Couch Baron] ["So did Naima. I know even less." -- Joe R] Keith is more interested in the fact that the first voice mentions "three of us," even though we only hear two voices. He surmises that the gaps in the audio were of a third speaker who was edited out of the recording. Veronica picks up on the mention of "the Sharks," and notes the Lucky/bat boy connection. Veronica asks whether Lucky's emails make mention of him being molested, but Keith says that it's hard to tell amidst all the "soldier's life" ramblings. I felt the same way about Jarhead. She offers to help comb the letters for clues, but Keith pulls the dad card and tells her to get some rest. She has a big day tomorrow.

That big day entails Veronica sitting on a witness stand, with Slimy, Esq. fixing to do something gross, you can just tell. Slimy: "Miss Mars, you find wealth and fame seductive, don't you?" Well, that didn't take long. This earns an objection from the prosecutor, but it's good enough to see where this is all going. Slimy clarifies that Veronica's past two relationships were with rich bitches Duncan and Logan, and that her best friend Lilly was also rotten with money. Veronica tightly affirms this. Slimy asks Veronica whether she looked up to and "emulated" Lilly. Veronica: "To a degree." Which I'm taking to mean, "Logan, but not Weevil." Slimy asks Veronica whether emulating Lilly meant following her friend's footsteps and propositioning Haaron after discovering "the tape of Lilly and my client kissing." Sure it sounds stupid, but people keep telling me that kids smoke because they see people do it on TV, so maybe Slimy thinks hooking up with Haaron is like that. It's certainly as detrimental to your health, if not more so. Veronica clarifies that the "kissing" had a bit more "naked" and "gyrating" to it. Slimy suggests that Veronica watched the tape, found Haaron at the Kane party, and told him if he wanted the tapes back he'd have to "earn them." Veronica jigga-whats and says she never said any such thing. "I didn't proposition Mr. Echolls, he hid in my back seat." Slimy takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes. Hussy girls can be so exasperating sometimes. He gets Veronica to confirm that she's eighteen, and then asks, "And you're currently undergoing treatment for a sexually transmitted disease?" Oh no, he did not! Burn! (Yeah, yeah. That's what she said.) Prosecutor lady objects, but the judge says she'll allow it, because STDs are the best way to know whether a female witness is honest or not. ["To sum up the forum posters’ opinion of the likelihood of this development: As fucking if." -- Couch Baron] In the peanut gallery, Lamb takes a peek at Keith's pained reaction. You'd think that Lamb might be more concerned about STDs being passed around the Neptune High senior class. An off-balance Veronica tells Slimy that she's completed the treatment, while the jury members make mental notes to scrub her testimony with bleach before they touch it.

Outside the courtroom, Keith and Veronica rendezvous, though their eyes don't have much interest in meeting. Keith asks whether Veronica's okay, and she says that she is. Keith: "No, I mean you're okay?" He finally looks at her, and she tells him, yeah, everything's okay now. It will be, so long as you put your arm around your daughter and lead her out of the courthouse, Keith. He does, because he's Keith and, thus, awesome. As the Marses walk past, Lamb smiles sickeningly, looking as exquisitely punchable than I've seen him since the pilot. Veronica's sexual degradation must bring it out in him.

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Veronica Mars

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