Veronica Mars
I Am God

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 4 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
We're Not Kidding, Show Killer. Back!

In the present, Veronica sarcastically asks why she and Logan broke up. Logan: "Was it something about me being too much man?" Veronica walks off, and Logan calls after her, "No, wait -- it was you! You were too much man!" He looks amused, as well he might. You have to admit that gender stereotyping from a guy whose wrists will hypnotize you if you stare at them too long is pretty comical. Of course, he could have been making a sexual reference, but that would mean...no, forget it. This show may go to the gutter as a matter of course, but I have standards, and they're firmly strapped on.

Science room. Dick and Logan are at the same lab table, and are the only ones wearing their goggles, which is a little cute and very little-boy of them, and therefore a propos in every way. The teacher, Mr. Wu, snaps at the class to pay attention, as they're going to be working in pairs to design a gizmo to protect an egg from drops from increasing heights. The team whose egg survives the highest drop will get an A, as well as being excused from "[embarrassing rap voice with finger-guns to boot] Mr. Wu's notorious GPA-killin' [normal voice] final exam." Some things are worth the extra formatting. Logan makes a racist comment under his breath, and then Dick makes a different one out loud, and while that comment illustrates their differences, it also more subtly and yet more pointedly shows their similarities. Not that I think either of them is truly racist at heart -- only total fucking pricks. Dick's just not capable of putting on, um, sheep's clothing. (And that's even a plot point.) Mr. Wu, pointedly staring at Dick, says that this experiment could mean the difference between passing and failing the class, causing Dick to vary his routine and make a homophobic comment. That's about as much range as you're likely to get from him. (Seriously, though, how awesome is Ryan Hansen in this role? It's easy to forget to give him props with the character being so despicable, but he deserves them.) Wu adds that he's breaking Dick and Logan up. Dick takes off his goggles and emotes to Logan, "God, I don't know how I'm gonna quit you!" Logan starts to say how it's too soon, since he hasn't gotten over the heartbreak of the Oscars yet, but Dick puts a finger on Logan's lips and is like, "It's not me. It's Wu." Wu announces that Dick's partner is a bitchy-looking girl named Angie, while Logan's is...Wallace. Logan looks unpsyched, but at least...now he can prove that he and Wallace aren't alternate personalities? As much as I like Wallace, I'm not seeing a lot of upside in this from Logan's point of view. Dick grossly hits on Angie, who exposits that she needs to be excused from the final exam, which...I thought the whole point of her scam was that she didn't need that, right? Like, if she can schedule the final on her own terms, why does she need to win this contest so badly? Anyway, Wallace sits next to Logan, who grumbles that Wallace had better not get all "superachiever." Wallace says that he just wants not to flunk, since Hearst will take his scholarship away if he does. Logan: "Excellent! The bar is so low we can step over it." Wallace shakes his head, probably because he knows that when push comes to shove, there's no way drama-queen Logan isn't doing the limbo under that shit.

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Veronica Mars

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