Veronica Mars
Kanes And Abel's

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 7 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Hat And Mouse

Veronica is approaching the door of a nice large house when she notices a yellow pickup driving by. She knocks on the door, and a child who looks like the fourth member of Hanson answers. In other words, at this age, I have no idea of the kid's gender. Veronica says she's looking for Sabrina.

Cut inside, where Sabrina is being quizzed in biology kingdoms by her mom, whom you'll remember was the PTA president who led the hearings about Mr. Rooks in "Mars vs. Mars." Upon seeing Veronica, mother and daughter babble in Italian, and then the mother excuses herself, saying she's late to meet Doctor Father, and also, Lynn is sleeping, so they should keep it down. It's not the Lynn we know, I assume, despite the fact that she's sleeping with the fishes. Veronica notes that Sabrina forgot the kingdom protista. Considering that Sabrina dated Caz, that is surprising. Veronica tells Sabrina that Caz denied perpetrating the harassment.

Later, Veronica's tracking Caz's car, which is still in his garage, as Sabrina studies. Veronica looks out the window to see the pickup from earlier driving by. Her phone rings, and it's a caller for "Miss Sabrina." Veronica uses her computer to input the caller's number into a database, and then recites a bunch of unsavory information about his credit and marital history back to him. "Miss Sabrina commands you: put your pants back on and get a job!" Words to live by, and I'd add that keeping that order straight would be advisable as well. Sabrina smiles. Veronica goes to the window and asks if Sabrina knows anyone with a yellow truck. The answer's a negative, and Veronica notices a baby carriage in a corner...

...which we next see rolling into the path of the pickup. The driver screeches to a halt, and Veronica appears and shines a light in his face. It's Caz. Get ready to jump off that roof, kid, because someone nearby is definitely going to be asking.

Chez Sabrina. Caz is protesting his innocence, but Veronica tells him that "the innocent rarely lurk." And here I would have bet Veronica had never been to Golden Gate Park at night. Caz says that the thought of someone messing with Sabrina made him nuts, so he was hanging around to see if he could catch the guy. Glad to see your life is so full that you have an hour or ten to spare for this. Sabrina asks whom the truck belongs to, and Caz tells her it's the gardener's. He reiterates his "jump off the roof" line, and Veronica counsels Sabrina to take him up on it. Well, I have to point out that I was a scene ahead of you there, Veronica. Although if my patience with these kids is even shorter than hers, I wonder if perhaps I should look into some form of therapy. But then I look at what's currently being produced on my computer screen, and all's well. There's a knock at the door, and Sabrina wonders who that could be at 11 PM. She opens the door to find a bunch of losers, one of them a young skate-punk-looking dude who wants to "get this party started!" Dude, even Pink can't hear that expression without cringing these days, and she's the only one benefiting financially from every dated utterance. Veronica learns that someone at a place called "Sultans Of Acid" was handing out flyers advertising a party at Sabrina's. I wouldn't be surprised if there's some literalness to that name. It would explain how these kids are dressed, anyway. Veronica slams the door in their face. Once again, I would have been ahead of her. I am sorry to cause you such cardiac strain.

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Veronica Mars

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