Veronica Mars
Kanes And Abel's

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 7 USERS: A
Hat And Mouse

Veronica shows up at Amelia's door with groceries as VMVO tells us that Sultans of Acid yielded nothing useful. As brainers go, that falls square in the "no" category. Amelia tells Veronica that her mom is going to mail (ever hear of a fax machine, anyone?) the Koontz/Kane papers the next day, and then asks if Veronica could arrange a visitation with Koontz. Veronica hesitates and then agrees, but says it could take a few days. VMVO butts in to say that will be enough time to get proof of the Kane payoff, like, WE KNOW. Reminding us of what happened earlier in the same scene is very Tru Calling, which seems fitting, considering that show is back on the air. And I love Eliza Dushku, but there are some things I simply will not do for her. Well, some things besides the obvious.

Mars Investigations. Keith asks Veronica if she shouldn't be getting ready for her "Achiever Dinner." Veronica corrects him that it's for "scholastic excellence." Their little semantical discussion is interrupted by the entrance of Ken Marino. I hate this guy so much, whether he's shooting demon sperm into Cordelia Chase, Creepily trying to seduce Joey Potter, or getting it on with Phoebe Halliwell. I'm told he was amusing in Wet Hot American Summer, which is possible. I saw it, but seeing Bradley Cooper having wet hot gay sex kind of blew any surrounding memories of the film. In case you wondering, it was worth it. Also, Demian (I believe) dubbed him Gonzo the Chinless Wonder, which is the best name ever, so that's what he is from here on in. Gonzo -- who's the aforementioned Vinnie Vanlowe -- "flirts" with Veronica as porn-y music plays. And I thought I'd seen the last of my dinner. Keith appears, and Gonzo thanks him for Strawberry Tart while tiresomely expositing that he's been a PI in town longer than Keith has. He brags about his caseload, and offers to farm some work Keith's way. He's sending something Keith's way right now, and let's just say the farm reference is certainly à propos.

Anyway, we've wasted enough time on Gonzo, so let's move on to the exterior of the Kane estate. VMVO tells us that it's going to be her and five of the top-ranking juniors and seniors listening to Jake and Mommie Sneerest talking about the scholarship they're offering in Lilly's name. The Kane parents open the door and invite Veronica in, saying that the others are already there. I guess Veronica doesn't revel in the awkward. I can't imagine that Veronica would accept a scholarship from the Kanes, but she's only a junior, so it's probably not worth making a stink about at this point. Inside, among the students in attendance are Sabrina, Hamilton Cho, and Duncan. Veronica sees Jake and Mommie Sneerest talking, and VMVO tells us it's hard to be back, and that Mommie Sneerest has a lot of reasons to hate her. VMVO speculates that maybe Mommie Sneerest lost it over a particular reason. In a grey-filtered flashback, we see Mommie Sneerest come out to the pool and tell Lilly that Veronica can never come back to their house. Lilly: "Chill out, Mommie Dearest. That's no way to treat your stepdaughter." A shout-out wrapped up in a huge burn on Celeste? You guys! You shouldn't have! The stepdaughter comment is speculation on Veronica's part that Lilly's secret from the pilot was that Veronica is Jake's daughter. Mommie Sneerest turns to go, but Lilly taunts her that she thinks Veronica and Duncan have danced the Posturepedic Polka already. Mommie Sneerest turns and slaps Lilly, but Lilly gives it back to her twice as hard. Nice to see Veronica's envisioning her as having gone out on a high note. Mommie Sneerest picks up something heavy from the table next to her and clocks Lilly in the temple, killing her. I have to say that seeing even a dramatization of Lilly's death for the first time is shocking, and the grey filter adds to the creepiness. Mommie Sneerest gapes in shock...

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Veronica Mars




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