Veronica Mars
Leave It To Beaver

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 11 USERS: A+
So Bye, Bye, Miss Lillian Kane...

Man, I'm spent. Six straight weeks emptying the jokes coffer on episodes that steadfastly refuse to suck, and now they give me this offering that's stuffed fuller than an opera singer's girdle. If this recap sounds like one big vaudeville show, I'm sorry, but that's all I've got left. Thanks, Rob.

Fade up on a crisply-dressed middle-aged dude. He's peering over his glasses and has his fingers interlaced around the back of his head -- the classic pose for radiating skepticism and disdain. The only reason it's not favored by TWoP recappers is that it precludes operating either the keyboard or the remote. It's hard to say which of those is the more important -- while the keyboard makes us the money, only the remote can be used in an emergency to save our sanity. Anyway, the target of the guy's skepticism is Cheyenne (real name apparently Deborah Collings), whose story about being with Koontz at the time of Lilly's murder he regards as questionable. "Lloyd" tells Keith -- with whom he's apparently at least an acquaintance -- that even if he believed the story, there's no way the top brass would risk a story like this on the word of a hooker. Hmm. Sounds like Lloyd has some residual bitterness left over from the time a woman of that profession told him he was "the best [she'd] ever had." Much as he would have liked to believe her, he realized that the contrary testimony of previous unpaid partners was far more likely to be the truth. And let's not get into the whole statistical unlikelihood of the claim. Where was I? Oh, Keith hands Lloyd a folder and says that there's a lot more to the story than Cheyenne's word. He tells Lloyd to read the material, and to talk to Cheyenne if he thinks there's merit. He leaves Cheyenne with Lloyd. Interesting that he thinks she'll just hang around twiddling her thumbs, considering her chosen profession takes "time is money" to a whole new level.

Keith approaches his front door as he checks his mail. There's an envelope from "Unified Genetics" marked "Results Confidential." I'm surprised Keith didn't have the envelope sent to a P.O. box, as Veronica seems even less likely than your average teenager to respect the aforementioned message. Of course, you could argue that that alone makes it overwhelmingly likely that she's Keith's daughter, but that's a whole nature vs. nurture debate, and who has time for that? (Note to the forum dwellers: Please consider that a rhetorical question.) Keith is about to open the envelope, but stops when he hears giggling from within the apartment. No, not the naughty kind (if his failure to draw his gun is any indication).

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Veronica Mars




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