Veronica Mars
Look Who's Stalking

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 9 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Grand Misery

Back from laughing? Good. Inside Logan's suite, kids dance. Logan, wearing a white tux and holding an open bottle of champagne, greets Dick with enthusiasm, Wallace in a friendly manner, Butters with open-mouthed incomprehension, and Veronica with googly-eyed tongue-tiedness that means the Squee-Meter isn't dipping below 7 anytime soon.

In a cell, Keith tries to get Lucky to tell him the reason for his grudge against The Woodman. Lucky looks like he's considering it, but Lamb enters, and unsuccessfully tries to get the handcuffs off. As he does, Lamb tells the "nutjob" not to look at him, and Keith orders Lamb to cut Lucky some slack. Lamb: "I wasn't talkin' to him, Keith." Heh. Lamb leaves, and Lucky notes that Lamb doesn't like Keith. I was wondering what the point of that scene was until we got that mind-blowing realization.

Alterna-Prom. Jackie and Wallace slow-dance. Elsewhere, Butters tells Mac that he knows it's weird to force someone to go to prom with him, but that, since she's weird too, he thought she might be into it. Butters tells Mac he means that as a compliment, and she replies by calling him "really, really weird." According to Butters's logic, Mac's saying she likes him, but that's contraindicated by the resigned smirk on her face. Such subtle points, however, are lost in the face of his continuing hope that he'll get some action out of this. But that's understandable -- if he didn't at least try for it, he'd be a fucking weirdo.

At the drinks table, Dick grossly and unrelentingly hits on Madison, who's pouring a couple of glasses of champagne. Veronica butts in to say that if Dick doesn't stop, Madison might call "the law," which she hears "really comes down hard." Hee. Madison weakly tries to respond with Duncan-related snark, like anyone cares about that anymore, and it backfires when Veronica replies that Duncan, indeed, "took it on the lam[b]," which she can't imagine: "I think you'd just want to close your eyes and pray for it all to end!" Hee. I mean, if you've even heard of the internet, you'll know that Veronica's opinion of Lamb's appeal isn't remotely universal, but watching Madison squirm like this is a moment for which both Veronica and the viewers are long overdue. Madison bolts to take a drink to Gia, which Dick notes is strange, and then asks "Ronnie" what the chances are of them hooking up at the party. Veronica: "A googolplex to one." Wow, she's really gone soft. Dick is enthused, and reminds me to gamble against him sometime if he likes those odds. As usual, though, he cracks me up. Veronica rushes over and grabs Gia's drink to prevent her from being dentist-tripped. And if last year taught us anything, it's that being dentist-tripped means not only drinking Madison's spit, but sucking Dick's straight out of his mouth, so Gia should be googolplexedly grateful here. Gia apologizes for her earlier behavior, which Veronica quickly accepts, and then moves on to Jackie and Wallace. Unfortunately for Veronica, Wallace and Jackie have had enough of being vertical for the evening, and bail. Looks like Jackie got as far as "Voulez..." before Wallace got her out the door.

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Veronica Mars

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