Veronica Mars
Look Who's Stalking

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 9 USERS: A
Grand Misery

Back inside the school, VMVO says that fifteen minutes is all she could wait: "Have taser, will travel." She hears some sort of Gia-esque noise coming from somewhere, which really could mean anything, and she finds her in Lucky's supply area or whatever. The door is ajar, and Lucky is showing Gia something Iraq-related. Gia asks whether being there was "freaky," and Lucky asks, "You wanna see freaky?" Gia just looks uncertain, obviously unable to hear Veronica's mental screams of "You're staring RIGHT AT it!" To be fair to Lucky, the creepy red light isn't really helping. Lucky pulls up one side of his shirt to reveal a scar, which he says was caused by a roadside bomb. If he shows her the other wound we know about...well, make your own joke about putting the "ass" in "harassment." Veronica starts waving to try to get Gia's attention surreptitiously, but Gia, entranced by Lucky's, um, charms, says that she ought to do a human-interest story on him. And here I thought you were against newspaper articles that defamed your dad, Gia. I'd tell her to make up her mind, but you won't be surprised to learn that I don't think that's her strong suit, for more than one reason. Anyway, Lucky offers to show Gia something else, which thankfully is in some sort of cabinet rather than his pants, so while he's occupied looking for it, Veronica finally gets Gia's attention. Gia attitudinally blurts, "What do you want?" Well, Veronica wanted to get you out of there without having to slap you with a stupidity fine, but that's no longer possible, Gia. Of course, Gia kind of deserves to be slapped with whatever's handy. Anyway, Veronica enters the office, at least trying not to tip Lucky off that anything's wrong, and Lucky asks her whether Veronica wants to see something freaky. You don't usually see "Um..." standing on its own as a sentence, but in this particular case, Veronica really doesn't need to say any more. Lucky goes back to looking for whatever, and Veronica takes Gia aside and quickly informs her that Lucky's the stalker; her story's aided by the varsity jacket hanging on the wall. Unfortunately, just at this moment, Lucky finds what he's looking for, which is a knife that...well, let's just say if it had been around a couple hundred years ago, Jim Bowie wouldn't have had a whole lot of work to do. Lucky says that he got the knife off a corpse in Iraq, which I can only hope is prompting Veronica to set her stun gun to "kill." She tries to lead Gia out, but Lucky blocks their path, and tells Gia that he's got some crazy stuff he could tell her, and that he knows her dad. To be fair, he's not going over the top projecting the menace, but maybe he's just a fan of paraphrasing Teddy Roosevelt. Anyway, Lucky does appear about to let them go, although it's certainly ambiguous, when Keith suddenly comes flying out of nowhere and tackles Lucky to the ground. Keith cuffs Lucky's hands behind his back, as Veronica, on the qui vive, secures the knife, just in case Lucky tries to make a grab for it. Keith asks why Lucky was stalking Gia, and Lucky's only reply is to yell "He deserved it!" He doesn't get any farther, though, before a gun-wielding Lamb arrives and mildly tells Keith that he didn't have to come himself. Lamb makes to dismiss Keith, but Keith, after telling Veronica to head to her party, quickly handcuffs himself to Lucky and tosses the key down the janitor's sink. Lamb smiles in frustration, because he needs to find some sort of tool for retrieving things from drains. If only he wasn't stuck in a useless janitor's closet!

Alterna-Vator. Dick is in a suit with a blue ruffled shirt and a "Party Pig" full of beer on his shoulder. At least no one can say he isn't making a clear statement. Speaking of which, Madison gets on dressed like "My Pink Princess Barbie," and unhappily says nothing, as Dick notes that she's "flying solo" as well. It is an unusual experience for Madison, particularly given that they're in an elevator. Madison's dismay mounts when Veronica gets on, followed by Wallace, Jackie, Mac, Butters, and Corny. Madison grouses that it's the longest elevator ride ever, and I have to admit surprise that the writers resisted the urge to have the elevator stop between floors, even if just for a second. I mean, the expression "a fate worse than death" is usually hyperbole, but I think that if that situation arose, several people in this elevator would seriously opt for the sweet release. Butters nerds out, and the door finally opens to Mac and Madison simultaneously saying, "Thank God." Hee. For any relative newbies, that's a little nod to the whole "switched at birth" storyline. Just think -- Mac and Dick could be exes, and Madison could be going to the prom with Butters.

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Veronica Mars




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