Veronica Mars
Lord Of The Bling

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 4 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Seriously, "Weevil" Who?

Cut to Urkel, who's mildly puzzled to see the ducks popping out of the storm drain on the beach. He's happier, however, to see the football. Considering what the football's transporting, I'd think he'd want to check out the ducks, too. You never know. Urkel's smile fades as Veronica joins him. In a nice touch, Keith is hobbling toward them in the distance. Aw. I've had back injuries before, and I can definitely sympathize. Urkel asks Veronica how she found him, and she echoes an earlier line of Keith's, saying whoever did it had to be really dumb or really smart. "You're really smart." Well, considering Bone's likely reaction when he finds out about this, I'd have to opine that Urkel's a combination of both. Cut to the three of them walking back from the beach, as Urkel tells Veronica and Keith that Yolanda just took off, and he heard her making plans to meet someone at the club and take off forever. He hid in Yolanda's trunk and nabbed it after it had been valet-parked, and drove the car back and made it looks like Yolanda had been kidnapped. I think. I don't understand the things kids say these days. What with being so very OLD and all. Veronica asks why he did it, and he says she wouldn't understand, but he thinks she's okay, and she probably just did what she did to get their dad's attention. "I may have stolen some of her thunder." Meanwhile, Keith gets word that Yolanda is okay from the guy he talked to earlier. "Here's what we'll do."

Bone Home. Bone and his wife wait agitatedly until Urkel, Keith, and Veronica enter. Urkel slams his dad's ring down on a table in front of him as Keith explains that Yolanda wasn't kidnapped, and it was Urkel who wrote the note. Urkel: "Look, you can be mad, Dad. But you can't call me soft." Bone says he guesses he can't, as he seems to see his son for the very first time. Which will be convenient later when he plants his foot in his son's ass.

Mrs. Bone interrupts the manly swelling of chests and other parts of the body to ask where the hell Yolanda is. Keith produces his laptop, and tells them Yolanda is on a two-way feed. Yolanda greets her parents and says that the good news is she's fine. If Bone and Mrs. Bone think the bad news is that she's sleeping with the skinny white boy behind her, they don't know the half of it. Because Yolanda and the boy are married, and what's more, the boy is Ben Bloom. Yolanda says she's telling them from there because of the bad blood between the parents. Well, even if she'd picked someone else, I doubt his teenaged daughter's marriage would be something about which Bone would want to produce his next platinum record, you know? Bone pleadingly says he didn't order the drive-by, but Yolanda calls him out, saying that he let everyone believe he did to up his cred. "Never mind it just turned me and [Urkel] into gangsta's kids." Bone looks up to see Urkel staring balefully at him. Don't piss him off, Bone. Next thing you know he'll be building a highway right through your living room. Yolanda asks for Bone's blessing, and says if he gives it, they'll come home. Bone struggles for a while, but Yolanda gives up and turns off the feed. Not to make you feel worse here, but Yolanda's going to have another bone in her life in a couple of minutes. Just as well she cut off the signal.

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Veronica Mars

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