Veronica Mars
Lord Of The Bling

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 5 USERS: A+
Seriously, "Weevil" Who?

Mars Investigations. Keith exposits that the number-four guy on Bone's list is the same guy Gabrielle told Veronica about, and he used to be Bone's bodyguard until he started messing around with Yolanda. Keith goes for his keys, but Veronica grabs them, and they bicker a bit about whether she's going. Three guesses if she gets to come along. I know there are only two choices, but I figure if you don't get this on the first try, you need all the help you can get.

Car, parked on some street. Keith tells her to stay in the car, and Veronica warns him to watch his back. "I mean that medically." Way to step on your own punchline, Mars. We're to assume that they're at Blender, judging by the line of women lined up to get in, as Keith goes to talk to the bouncer. Meanwhile, Veronica notices a guy putting a ticket in a box marked "Valet," and gets an idea. If there's a need for valet parking, it probably would have been impossible to get a spot so close to the club, but whatever. The bouncer says that getting fired wised him up, and while he let Yolanda into the club, they're not involved any more. He adds that if Bone suspects him, he must not know who Yolanda was there with that night.

Keith gets back in the car and asks Veronica if she's heard of a rapper called "Dime Bag." She has. He tells her that that's the guy Bone held out the window to get him to sign a contract, and he was at Blender on the night Yolanda disappeared with his "bunch of dudes." Veronica winces and corrects him that the term is "posse." I thought "posse" was starting to get pretty dated, but since I'm closer to Keith's age than Veronica's, I probably should keep my mouth shut. Not least because I'm really starting to depress myself. Keith says the "posse" is at the "Duke Hotel," and then notices that Veronica grabbed a bunch of valet stubs. Veronica brightly says even kidnappers have to park. At Keith's stony expression, she adds: "I know. Stay in the car." Hee. They drive away.

Parking garage. Boy, I wouldn't leave my daughter alone in one of those. They're TV deathtraps. Keith returns and tells Veronica that "Mr. Bag" (hee) is on the town, and the manager told him he wouldn't talk to Keith even if he were present, unless Bone were willing to beg. He says they're going to Plan B.

Cut to Keith dressing up like some kind of maintenance man. He and Veronica pick out the bugs he'll need. Heh.

Veronica waits in the hotel lobby as VMVO gives us some sadly unnecessary commentary designed to get us into another flashback. This one takes place in Yolanda's house. Lilly and Veronica admire all the platinum records on the walls, but Yolanda dismisses them as no big thing, and says her dad's just a producer. Somewhere, Joel Silver involuntarily narrows his eyes. They run into Urkel, who tells them Bone is away on business. Yolanda rolls her eyes at him and ushers Lilly and Veronica into her room. Therein, Lilly reads Lucky and talks about her next boyfriend. Veronica wonders what happened to Logan, and Lilly tells her that he's "insanely jealous" all the time, and it's getting on her nerves. Not sure I completely buy that, but I'm certainly willing to believe Lilly blowing off his party just because she feels like it. Veronica says that she and Yolanda will just have to party for three. Lilly: "Which means Yolanda will have to be partying for two and a half." Heh. For those who thought Lilly was mean there, it's worth noting that Veronica doesn't look very stung. I think it was just an ongoing ribbing with the two of them. Lilly says that they're still going to Fleet Week in San Diego. The girls all giggle, because statutory rape is hilarious. Yolanda says she's really glad she met Lilly and Veronica. Lilly, mock-earnestly: "You should be glad. We're the best." Veronica agrees. Hee. Lilly says San Diego will be "rockin' like Dokken." Now that's a reference that I know, which again underscores the fact that I am old. Now pardon me while I take a Metamucil break and a nap.

Back in the lobby, Veronica sees "Darius Bagley, a.k.a. 'Dime Bag'" and two of his boys enter the hotel and start complaining about their room. The clerk says she'll switch them to the biggest room they have. Dime Bag complains about the hotel's VIP treatment, and thinking quickly, Veronica saunters up, introduces herself as the hospitality hostess, and apologizes for the mixup while getting in a dig at the clerk about how "the new help doesn't always quite get it." I think the VIP marks are actually very high, assuming "VIP" stands for "Veronica Is a Playa." Veronica offers to show them to their room. They get in the elevator, and Veronica pushes the button. I do think that the best suite in the hotel would probably require a special key for elevator access. I realize I'm nitpicking, but what else am I supposed to do while I wait for my Social Security check to arrive? (Especially since the waits are likely to get longer, if you know what I mean.)

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Veronica Mars




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