Veronica Mars
Lord Of The Bling

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 5 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Seriously, "Weevil" Who?

Veronica and Wallace are going through the valet tickets. Veronica discovers that Sam Bloom's son Benjamin was at the club the night Yolanda disappeared. If that doesn't make you want to celebrate with a Progresso commercial, I don't know what will.

Chez Echolls. There's a wake going on, complete with a big black-and-white picture of Lynn mounted on an easel. Whether a separate service for the LIPS will follow is anyone's guess. At least the Echolls house is large enough to accommodate all the plastic surgeons in the area. Logan too-seriously thanks a bunch of guests with sarky comments. One old couple gets "My father thanks you. My mother thanks you. I thank you." What really sells that exchange is the way the couple nods seriously after each expression of thanks. Hee. You know a show's worth watching when the extras are directed well. He grabs a middle-aged gentleman by the shoulders and shakes: "I am GLAD you're here!" He's gonna blow, y'all. And while Weevil's not in the episode, the "No, I'm glad YOU'RE here" look the gentleman shoots him makes me think there's a market for it. Logan takes out a Zippo and starts playing with it as he heads outside to the deck…

…where Haaron is talking with some smarmy guy "Harvey." The guy is trying to get Haaron to make a call about a deal that needs to go through. Haaron points out that it's his wife's funeral as Logan looks on with an expression that suggests a less diplomatic approach. Harvey, watch out for that Zippo, because with the amount of product in your hair, it'll go up like a Roman candle. Logan snarkily asks if "ICM" will let them use their boardroom the next time they have a funeral. We do that at TWoP Towers all the time, but the services are for canceled shows. And if you think our recaps are harsh, you should hear some of those eulogies. Logan asks if he could perhaps get them something. "Mimosa? Finger sandwich? Tissue?" He stalks off in disgust. Haaron then pretends to wipe away a tear. Hee, but I'm surprised he doesn't carry glycerine around with him. Maybe he doesn't have room, what with all the Astroglide he's already packing. Harvey unapologetically apologizes and starts to talk about the deal again, but Haaron tells him that he doesn't want Harvey to negotiate any more deals for him. Harvey takes that to mean he's fired, but Haaron says he's out of the business. "I'm done!" Wait, who's going to make fifty-million-dollar crapfests? Oh, right -- Hollywood.

Logan is playing some adventure video game when Duncan walks in and asks what he's doing. Logan snarks about concentrating on the game. Duncan points out that it's Lynn's reception, but Logan says that it isn't -- it's Haaron's. He thanks Duncan for coming rather brusquely, saying it means a lot to the family. Speaking of which, where are the Kane parents? I was wondering if maybe they couldn't stand the pain of another funeral, but that reasoning doesn't really hold up, what with Mommie Sneerest giving off the impression that she tap-danced on Lilly's coffin despite wearing high heels. Duncan gives it a game try, saying he's Logan's friend, and he's worried about him. Logan says none of this matters, and shows Duncan the lighter he's been carrying. He tells Duncan that Lynn's dad fought in the Korean War, and he got the lighter in Seoul, and held onto it even when he was captured. And if your mind didn't flash to Christopher Walken in Pulp Fiction, either you've never seen it, or you've clenched it out of your memory. Anyway, after Lynn's dad and his buddies escaped, he had the lighter engraved. He tosses it to Duncan, who sees that it reads "Free At Last." Logan goes on that his mom always carried the lighter in her purse, but she left it on her dresser the night she disappeared. Logan emotionally goes on that Lynn hated her life and Haaron. "They didn't find a body because she's not dead." He holds up the lighter again. "She just escaped." Well, I'm not saying it's not possible, but suicide is pretty much the ultimate escape, no? Meanwhile, Duncan looks reassured. Reassured, that is, Logan is a few finger sandwiches short of a picnic.

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Veronica Mars

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