Veronica Mars
Lord Of The Pi's

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 5 USERS: A
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Art Imitating Life

A couple of guys are tossing a Frisbee on one of the lawns at Hearst when one of them gives the other a "go deep" gesture. In chasing the Frisbee, one of the dudes trips over Chip, lying face down on the grass in his underwear, with most of his head shaved. The other dude takes a picture of Chip on his phone. It's fitting enough that going deep led them to cross Chip's path, given their recent acquaintance.

Hearst FreePress. Veronica is talking to the new editor, who's a nerdy yet imperious type. He tells her that her portfolio was on the editor's desk when he took over; he understands that Veronica and Nish had "some baggage," but that's nothing to him. It's also nothing to Entertainment Weekly, if the scathing words they've been writing about this season are any indication. He asks whether Veronica knows about "the election," and Veronica exposits that the Board of Trustees is gathering to vote on a resolution to remove the Greek system from Hearst. The editor says that the vote is the next day, but that there's a reception for the trustees that evening, and that he needs Veronica to shoot it: "Bonus points if you get the Dean wearing a lampshade." Oh, man. Dean Ed giving anyone who'll listen the "Lishen, lishen, lishen -- I LUV you guysh" speech would be enough to make my head explode in the very best way. The editor says, though, that what he's really after are pictures of the school's "most famous alum and board member, Selma Rose." Veronica asks if that's Selma Hearst Rose, and the editor confirms that: she's the granddaughter of the founder of the college "and heir to the HearstMart fortune." So we could have titled this episode "Selma's Choice," and if that's not a clear enough Simpsons reference for you, I'll point out that the real name of the actress playing Selma is named Patty Hearst. And if the Patty/Selma thing isn't clear enough for you, Veronica will be helping you out soon enough. Veronica reminisces that her mom loved Selma (and despite what I did in the recaplet, I'm going to have to refer to her as Selma and not Patty, because otherwise I have to go along with the idea that Patty Hearst didn't exist in the Marsverse, which is just too weird), and adds that Lianne was "California's last flower child." I'm torn between asking Veronica just how much of California she's actually seen and asking her just exactly where Lianne got her poppies. Anyway, Veronica and the new editor discuss a stunt of Selma's where she liquidated her trust fund and dumped the money over Watts from a plane, and if Patty didn't quite do exactly this in real life, it should at least have appeared as an Asterisk on Fametracker. The editor adds that Selma was arrested for causing riots and spent a month in jail: "Perhaps the most embarrassing case of noblesse oblige of the twentieth century." Heh. All this fun is interrupted by the two Frisbee guys coming in and, upon confirming that the paper pays for photos, producing a large image of Chip lying where they found him. The editor recognizes Chip, and Veronica stares at the picture in disbelief, not that I blame her. It's no fun getting scooped in your first five minutes on the job.

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Veronica Mars

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