Veronica Mars
Lord Of The Pi's

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 7 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Art Imitating Life

Anyway: Hallie tells Veronica that she should be watching Brandt, because he's totally in love with Mr. Rose: "Like, Swimfan love." That "film" is on my personal Worst Five list, so I'm glad they at least didn't pay homage to it on screen. Hallie adds that, a couple of weeks earlier, Mr. Rose asked Brandt to help plan a tenth-anniversary party for Selma, and Brandt threw a teacup at the wall. Considering how prissy he is, I wonder if it even reached. Veronica switches gears to ask about Patrice, and Hallie unfortunately gives Veronica fuel by asking if she wants to know where she buried "Jimmy Hoffman." Veronica, who had been doing so well for a couple of episodes, is seriously annoying me here, so let's cut to the chase: Hallie wasn't at Hearst yet when Patrice had her accident, but according to her sisters, Patrice had one too many hard lemonades and fell off the roof, and it's not like she died. Veronica tries to get more information, but Hallie dismissively says that Veronica can ask anyone in Patrice's pledge class. She adds that she and her sisters had a car wash and raised enough money to get Karen, their former den mother, another round of chemo. Veronica looks sad as Hallie leaves her, but I suppose I can forgive her for having some bad associations with car washes.

Mars Investigations. Veronica enters, and she and Keith hammily catch each other up. Veronica mentions that Brandt is "the Smithers to Mr. Rose's Monty Burns," and that reference would probably come off stale if it didn't make me imagine Brandt having his own Mr. Rose version of that computer startup message "You're. Quite. Good. At. Turning. Me. On." When Veronica mentions the ten-year anniversary, though, Keith throws up his hands and asks, "Have I taught you nothing?" It does sometimes seem that way. Anyway, Keith gives Veronica a long lecture about how, after ten years, a spouse who gets a divorce is entitled to half his or her partner's assets, but not before. Perhaps Keith is making such a big expository deal here because what he's saying isn't true. From what I can see, assets or inheritances owned by one party before marriage under California's laws are never considered community property. The ten-year line applies only to the level of future spousal support payments, which admittedly could be significant in this case, but if this is the sort of great teaching Sensei Keith here is doing, it's just as well Veronica doesn't listen to him. Keith suggests that if Mr. Rose is trying to keep Selma hidden, it would be easier if she had her precious dogs around. What? I guess maybe he's saying that if Selma were being held against her will, she'd be more tractable with her dogs present. Still, the whole idea makes little sense based on the information the Marses have at the moment.

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Veronica Mars

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