Veronica examines the gay, gay photos on her computer. She tells Carmen that all they need now is a soundtrack. With her hair cutely piled up in a small bun on top of her head, she instructs Carmen to be natural and intimate with Tad. I'd think those two were mutually exclusive when it comes to dealing with Tad, but I'm not the detective here. Carmen calls Tad and tells him what a great time she had at the boardwalk. Tad makes comments about her being in his bed and erotic experiments and being curious. Mission accomplished, Carmen asks Veronica how it was. Veronica opines that it was "a little scary," thinking, as I did, that Tad's got a good potential career in gay phone sex. And if he wants to graduate to full-on porn, he'll already have the uniform.
Chez Mars. Keith runs in, and Veronica tells him it's "Chicken Kiev night." Aw. Keith blows off that dish, however, and Veronica assumes that it's in favor of hanging out with his woman yet again. VMVO: "The mystery bag? On a Tuesday? My own dad has lost total libidinal control." Not to be ageist, but ew. However, the truth, as Keith says on his way out, is that Duncan's car was spotted outside Tijuana. As he closes the door, he crows, "Yale, baby!" Veronica looks discomfited. I knew she was a Princeton girl.
Tijuana. Keith knocks on a motel room wherein he suspects is Duncan, with a Speedy Gonzales-sounding "room sairrrvice." Heh. He opens the door to find a woman in bed, who hastily covers herself before Keith can whip out a camera phone. Some guy in a law-enforcement uniform comes out and, as Keith tells Veronica in the next scene, the guy found the car abandoned at the bus station with a case of beer in the front seat and a sign in Spanish reading "free car." Hmm. If Duncan abandoned the car in Tijuana, I wonder how he returned, assuming he did. I suppose he could have hired someone to drive him back across the border, but a transportation-less white boy carrying oodles of cash seems like an easy target for mischief. Keith explains that the car was a decoy: "Maybe Duncan's smarter than I always give him credit." I know! And here everyone thought he was losin' it!
At school, Veronica wraps up the call with Keith and goes in to see Mac, who's still working on the passport issue. Mac's looking at the online "Swingles" dating profile of a "Mr. Heinrich," who seems to have stolen Burt Reynolds's sunglasses and gold chain from Boogie Nights. Veronica, after the obligatory round of bamp chicka wow wow, asks how long it would take Mac to create a "highly incriminating, thoroughly libelous, sexually explicit website?" Mac says forty-five minutes, give or take. She should email Glark and see if she can get a more competitive offer. Mac says she'll get on it as soon as she reads about Mr. Heinrich's special interests. If girls who never take their roller skates off is on there, I'll know my analysis of his accessories is correct. Seth walks in and brightly asks if that's his math teacher. Veronica hands Mac an envelope with the "ammo," says Seth will help her with the rest, and leaves. Aw, come on, give the gay kid more screen time! The openly gay one, I mean.