Veronica Mars
Mars vs. Mars

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 7 USERS: A+
Mars vs. Mars

Veronica is pissily unloading the contents of her bag onto her desk as Keith asks her what the big deal is. Having finished with her books, Veronica unloads on Keith, saying that she dreads going to school, and that Rooks's class is one of the only things that she looks forward to. Not shown: Wallace overhearing this conversation from outside the door and, with misty eyes and quivering lip, swearing that she can just get her own permanent records from now on. Honestly, though, I'm not sure I completely buy that reason for Veronica's vehemence here. School hasn't seemed that bad for her in a while, and she rarely seems to care when it is. There's a long step between despising a bunch of the people there and dreading stepping into the building. If there wasn't, a lot more people would work from home. I can buy that Veronica really likes Rooks, though, so ultimately I have no problem with her helping him. Keith says he's sorry, but that this is what he does, and that the girl deserves to be heard. Veronica snarls that she doesn't, actually, because Carrie is "a liar, and a gossip, and a manipulator." Keith says he can't drop the case just because of a feeling Veronica has, so she tells him he can answer his own phone. Just as well, because the rest of us will be busy with a flashback.

Long-haired Veronica is in a bathroom stall. Through the open door, she sees Carrie and some other girl bitching that Duncan could be going out with anyone, but that he picked Veronica, and she must be after his money. I'd say sixteen is a little early to be thinking that way, but in fairness, it is an awful lot of money. I mean, her chances are a lot better than winning the lottery here, and the payoff stands to be bigger too. Carrie tells Gossip Lady-In-Waiting that Duncan is literally crazy, and through her vast royal gossip network, she heard that, the week before, Duncan was brought to the hospital kicking and foaming at the mouth and screaming Veronica's name: "It took like three orderlies just to get him in a straitjacket." Some posters are speculating that Duncan's ravings indicate that he got wind of some danger to Veronica, and I certainly wouldn't be surprised to learn that that's exactly the case. Veronica emerges from the stall and sniffs, "Carrie Bishop and Susan Knight. Go figure." Go figure, indeed, that this episode includes the names "Bishop, Knight, and Rooks." I just thought I'd mention that en passant.

Veronica sits with Logan in the sheriff's office. She comments, "We should do this more often." I see someone's been reading the boards. The ostensible eyewitness emerges from an office and struts by them. She looks a bit like Ann Jillian, had Ann Jillian been living in a trailer park for the last ten years. Now that I think of it, has anyone seen her in a while? The eyewitness blows past the kids, although I'd think she'd recognize Logan, especially with his little news-making stunt from several episode back. Logan looks like he's going to unleash a snarl that would give Backup a run for his money, but Veronica tells him to heel, and that she's got it covered. She hands Logan an earpiece, and they both listen to the show as, down the hall, Cliff The Highly Entertaining Sleazy Lawyer (I really need a better nickname for him) stops "White Trash Walking," as Veronica called her, and says he's with the Weekly World News, and that he's interested in her story. I thought the Weekly World News only ran stories concerning aliens, but I could see them getting confused, what with Lynn's third lip and all. Anyway, Cliff baits her into revealing that she made the whole thing up. Remember in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, when Ferris looks at the odometer in the Ferrari, and is all, "Here's where Cameron goes ballistic"? Substitute "Logan" for "Cameron," and you've got yourself an instant mini-remake. Logan bellows about trailers and Spam, and the woman hurries out as fast as her Paylesses will carry her. Veronica thanks Cliff, and he tells her she owes him one.

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Veronica Mars




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