Veronica Mars
Meet John Smith

Episode Report Card
admin: A | 2 USERS: A+
Double Your Mothers, Double Your Fun

Date. Icetwin is telling Veronica about the time that he and Duncan tried to use a "fake shark plan" to get on America's Funniest Home Videos. Veronica says she remembers that, which…seems weird. Presumably, she would have heard the story from Duncan at some point, so wouldn't she have been familiar with Icetwin's name before she met him? Icetwin says they were going to "cut off the dorsal fin, nail it to a board," and strap the thing to his back so he could swim around near the public beach while Duncan videotaped the whole thing. Well, I don't know where they got the shark, although it's possible Icetwin marble-mouthed an explanation. But if they're talking about a big enough shark to scare anyone, I find it hard to believe that two young boys could cut the fin off even if they used a hacksaw. Anyway, Icetwin swam around for a while until the lifeguard saw the fin and pulled a rifle, which again, seems sketchy. A lot of lifeguards are pretty young, and I don't know if it would even be legal to give them firearms, much less sensible. (Okay, I won't get into the assault-weapons ban lapsing.) Duncan ran for the lifeguard, yelling that it was his friend, so he didn't shoot. Icetwin finishes that Duncan saved his life. Veronica wryly notes that that's one way of looking at it. The other way is that the both of them were complete fucking morons, but, characteristically yet thankfully, Veronica's already expressed that sentiment, so let's move on, shall we? Veronica beams at Icetwin, who says he's tired of the song that's playing. He hits the fifties-style mini-jukebox on the table, but the song doesn't change. He explains, "I would have expected sex had that worked." Veronica: "Had that worked, you would have gotten it." Icetwin looks like that autoerotic thing is going to be happening sooner than anticipated. Hee.

Outside, Icetwin asks Veronica for her phone. He programs a number and says it's "booty-call enabled." How'd he get Weevil's number? (Oh, as I said in the forums, it's not like I don't like Weevil, but I'm glad they didn't try to shoehorn him into this episode. It's not like this episode isn't as thick as week-old custard already.) Anyway, Veronica babbles about it being a school night (how long is this week, anyway?) but Icetwin leans in for the kiss anyway. Denied! Well, at least he knows the rumors about her are false, if there was any doubt left. Icetwin recovers pretty well -- he switches horses with a soft handshake and a bow. I think some people thought that was obnoxious, but I saw it as a reasonably valiant attempt to defuse the awkwardness of the situation. Nevertheless, Veronica looks embarrassed. He opens her car door for her, and she sits down and looks pleadingly at him. He gives a confused look, and walks to his convertible and drives away. I didn't mean for this to be a running joke, but…awkward.

Veronica tries to sneak into the house, but Keith is waiting up for her and asks how the date went. Dude, what is with the red filter here? I don't need to feel like I'm watching this through a lava lamp. Anyway, considering most restaurants don't stay open too late on weekdays, I doubt a lecture is warranted here. Veronica smarts, "Lousy conversation, but the sex was fantastic." Well, that's a half-truth if I ever saw one. Keith thinks that isn't funny, but Veronica sasses, "I don't know. I'm pretty sure it was." I'm pretty sure it was…asking for an ass-kicking, missy. She goes into her room, and VMVO tells us how Icetwin is "dead sexy" and has "devilish charm." First off, no one has been called "dead sexy" unironically since Fat Bastard hit the big screen, and second, no one can have "devilish charm" until they look old enough to shave. Shut up, VMVO. She asks what she's waiting for, and just like that, we're back in the car with Duncan. I don't know -- Duncan may have resembled a block of wood until this episode, but he and Veronica certainly do the make-out thing well. Anyway, they slide down out of the frame as he says her name, but then the sexy music cuts and they pop back up, only it's Duncan and (we presume) Shelley. HA! That was awesome, and on top of it, when she asks him what he called her, he fishes for a response, and then just cracks up. I wonder if that was ad-libbed, because it was such a perfect reaction. There's really nothing else to do in that situation. Besides duck and cover, of course.

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Veronica Mars




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