Veronica leaves the room, but VMVO notes that she's the Mean Girl now, and she'd be making a public spectacle out of Trina. Frankly, I don't know why Veronica didn't just ask Trina for her permission to do this in the first place. It's not like being splattered across the tabloids or being featured on Access Hollywood is either unfamiliar or unwanted for Trina. Veronica reenters the room and drops the Prom Baby bombshell. Trina: "Ashton Kutcher is hiding somewhere, right?" Hee, especially with Kristen Bell having been recently Punk'd. Veronica manages to convince Trina that she's serious, so she asks if her mother "was one of those trashy sluts that dump her baby in a garbage can?" And just when I had stopped missing Joan Of Arcadia. Veronica tells Trina that she's pretty sure Celeste is the trashy slut. Trina takes that in, and brightens as she says that the Kanes have billions. Veronica confesses that she was going to use the tape to smoke Celeste out by sending it to all the tabloids. Trina, promo-style, tells Veronica that she's a rascal, and Veronica answers by saying she thought she was something less flattering. Well, one famewhore's "rascal" is another one's "bitch." Trina says that, if they hurry, they can get the tape on that evening: "It's the least 'Big Pat' can do for me after leaving all those pervy massages on my voicemail." Veronica takes a moment to realize the King Kong-sized monster she's created.

Neptune High, Soliloquy Division. Veronica enters to find some dude reciting the "Alas, poor Yorick" line. Heh. Trina calls a break and excitedly rushes over to Veronica, who hands her a copy of the Instigator with Trina as the cover story, the caption of which reads, "Starlet's Silent Struggle With Death." Well, everything in those rags is made up, so I won't take issue with the use of the word "starlet." "Silent," however, is really threatening to cross a line. Trina looks at a couple of the other tabloids until Mary agitatedly bustles in and starts signing away. Veronica asks her to go slower, and Trina happily says it's "Lunchlady Doris," who was always nice to Trina and gave her extra cake. Mary signs that she wants to help, and Trina tells Veronica to thank her, but that it's a student production. Come on, Trina -- if you want to get the best possible performances, don't underestimate the power of good craft services. Trina starts to turn away, but Veronica calls her back, as Mary's meaning is becoming plainer. Trina's face starts to break a little as she starts to suspect the gist, but timidly asks Veronica what Mary is saying. Veronica: "She's saying...she wants to give you her bone marrow." Mary starts to cry and embraces the shocked Trina as Veronica looks like she might tear up too. Mary breaks the embrace with a fond smile, and in an unexpected and unexpectedly affecting moment, Trina smiles through her emotions and hugs Mary again. That was really sweet, and the actress playing Mary really sold that scene. I hope there are special provisions to get her an SAG card.