Veronica Mars
My Mother, The Fiend

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 4 USERS: A
Meeeeooooow! (Ffffft!) favor of noting that the choice of person to cut to off that line is Kendall. Heh. She's appeared at Duncan's door in order to hit on him. When he tells her Logan's not there, she says he should loosen up, since she's been in both their beds. There was disagreement on the boards about whether this indicated that Duncan actually did something with Kendall. I think, from her too-coy reference and the way Duncan acts around her in this scene, that the answer is no, but there's no, um, hard evidence either way. Anyway, Kendall hears crying, and is clichédly yet amusingly horrified at the thought of a baby around. Duncan shows her the "baby," and tells her it's an "animatronic parental lifestyle simulator." Kendall opines that it's "just the creepiest little thing I've ever seen." And I'll agree that the horror is a lot more justified once you get a look at that thing. Kendall then offers to take Duncan for a ride, which isn't actually a euphemism -- she's got Big Dick's Maserati, which she's trying to sell by telling him he'd look so great in it. Duncan: "Can't I just be loved for me?" Well, I admit I've been recapping for few hours here, so I could have missed a recent fundamental turnaround in board opinion. But I still feel pretty safe in giving this answer: probably not. Kendall offers to teach Duncan to drive stick without leaving the couch, which I'm sensing leads us back to euphemism territory, but Duncan firmly picks her up and plants her next to him. She asks if they "chemically castrate you boys over at that school," and it's this little exchange that makes me think nothing happened between her and Duncan. Charisma overacts as she breathes that he doesn't need Sex Ed, and she's Sex Ed. Well, hon, you just kind of told him he doesn't need you, not that he's listening, or would realize that even if he were.

Anyway, this "fun" comes to an end when Logan and Trina enter. Duncan warmly greets Trina, so it seems the two of them also got along back in the day. I expect that Trina will cast someone great to play Duncan in the biopic. Actually, I suppose it's going to be not so much "casting" as "whittling," but only the finest wood will be used. Kendall kisses Logan, which he's not too psyched about, and then talks about the car while employing lots of double entendres. Trina, for her part, looks totally grossed out by the thought of Logan and Kendall being a couple, and the animatronic baby chooses that moment to show its good taste by crying in agreement. Trina butts into the conversation, and after some commentary about Logan's penis size...oh. I guess I should wait for the significant percentage of you that just ran running for the shower.

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Veronica Mars




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