Chez Mars. Veronica arrives home to find Keith cooking dinner, and puts her "baby" down on the counter in a rough manner that would earn her a place in the "Jeers!" section of Parenting, should that publication ever see fit to, um, adopt that idea. She asks Keith whether Lianne was cool when he met her. Keith, calming the crying "baby" down, asks why Veronica wants to know, so she tells him about the purported rumor-spreading. Keith: "That doesn't sound very cool." Well, it was 1980. Not much was cool back then. Veronica asks Keith to access the county birth records and find out if Lianne was telling the truth. Keith wonders what that will accomplish: "You know who your mom was." Yeah, but Veronica's trying to work on that. Keith goes on to say that Veronica should forget the past couple of years, and remember that she and Lianne used to love each other. Veronica looks sad.
Neptune High, Soliloquy Division. Veronica holds a camera as VMVO asks which is more torturous: the filing she's been doing, or "spending lunch watching the Bard get flogged by the second lead of Wilder Things?" Heh. And since this episode has already featured a Buffy reunion, I wonder if the first lead in that movie was Amber Benson. Trina and some dude badly act for a bit, but are interrupted by Veronica's "baby" crying. I tell you what, that kid may be creepy-looking, but his timing on the editorializing is uncanny. Veronica ends up gagging her baby, and if she's serious about the Kane Scholarship, I hope Sex Ed isn't factored into her GPA. The scene continues until Trina unwittingly steps on a prop skull and hilariously overdramatically falls to the floor. Hee. Seems poor Yorick has seen this play mangled so many times that he's finally taking matters into his own hands. Anyway, Trina's out cold.
Java The Hut. Beaver waves over Kendall, who patronizes him for a moment until he calls her out for selling some of Big Dick's personal possessions for cash. Kendall points out that she doesn't have a trust fund, so she doesn't have many attractive options. She'd have even fewer of those if she possessed any shame, but then she probably wouldn't have been in this marriage in the first place. Changing tacks, Beaver tells her about his company, and offers to show her his prospectus. Amazingly, she doesn't turn this into a sexual comment, asking instead what all of this has to do with her. Beaver points out that he's only sixteen, and can't sign legal documents or meet with investors, so he wants Kendall to be the face of his company. Kendall notes that Beaver doesn't like her, and he admits that: "But I find value in your desperation." If Beaver is really interested in finding value in desperation, he should just jump straight into financing internet porn. But he's probably wary of doing anything that could bring Paris Hilton back for another appearance. Kendall says she loves not working, and what's more, she knows nothing about sales. Beaver's all, au contraire, ma "mère", and offers her a grand a week salary plus commissions. After some more patronizing, Kendall accepts. It seems pretty likely that Beaver is setting Kendall up so that she'll be responsible for any misdeeds the company commits. Just don't try bribing any county assessors, Beaver. Kendall knows that one already.