Gia makes Veronica take off her shoes because her mom's a germophobe, I think. ["Or Canadian. It's what we do, so we don't track the snow in." -- Wing Chun] Gia yells, "You brought your sleeping bag! That's so cute!" Veronica's response: "I like to have the option." Veronica, it wasn't creepy until you said that. Now it's like, "I'm sleeping on the floor unless dinner is very expensive." "Don't judge me for my Ninja Turtles," she jokes, which is awesome, because in an informal poll I just conducted, 99\% of people had that same sleeping bag, and probably still do. It's also awesome because you know Veronica loved the Turtles. I bet she said her favorite was Michelangelo, but it was actually Rafael. Gia goes through some pretty intense business while this short interchange happens. She: hangs up Veronica's jacket, puts each of Veronica's articles in a separate labeled basket, and moves some screens around to reveal more baskets and a shoe area. The creepiest part of this is how the baskets are the top are labeled "Father" and "Mother." (For some reason that freaks me out: "Gia's Clothes Which Flatter The Countenance.") "Whoa, somebody likes their label maker!" jokes Veronica, and Gia's breezy, as she always is when somebody brings up the total freakiness of her family: "At least we know where to find everything." Voice-over: "Yeah, like, 'The anal psychos are located right about here.' Great -- they kill their guests and steal their shoes." To be fair, Veronica has reason to be paranoid about freaks stealing shoes, Abel Koontz. Hearing teenage-girl giggles from elsewhere in the house, Veronica's voice-over continues: "Please tell me they kill their guests." Hee! Gia covers Veronica's eyes, and the camera, and lacunas us into the next scene as Veronica thinks, "My Spidey sense is tingling. Something bad is happening."

Behind the door, there's fucking "Pon De Replay" by Rihanna playing, which qualifies as "something bad happening," far as I'm concerned. There are also, like, eight hot chicks in their underwear doing weird shimmies and giggling and looking at Veronica in a strange way that suggests that they are the brides of Dracula. Even weirder, the camera gets product placement-based confusion and we have to watch a few seconds of the video for that song. The upshot of this scene is, you now get to read Salon.com all day for free. Veronica has a bijou panic attack, because she hates people, but mostly because this girl stuff is beyond her ken, and most of all because somehow her life just became some kind of adolescent Xander leg-cramp Porky's fantasy.