Answer: D. He turns to Veronica: "Should I be doing something?" Squick on the gerbil wheel we can all now see spinning in your head, but A+ for the sentiment. Veronica breaks it down for old Type IV: "We were making out on the couch, but then that happened: Dick and Beav's stepmom just came over to have a go-round with your bunkmate. How does that not bother you?" Instead of the proper response -- which would be, "I dunno, get out of your own pants" -- Duncan cutes, "Because I'm a guy?...What. If he was in there with Dick and Beaver's real mom, I'd be bothered..." Me too. Man. I don't remember if we've seen her before, but we do in this episode, and...man. "...But it's Kendall. She's like, our age," Duncan concludes. "She's twenty-five," breathes Veronica, and I do a little Mars Investigating of my own, only to discover that Charisma Carpenter is way hotter than she has any right to be, Aaron and Shawn Ashmore are (still) of age, and these actors we're looking at are not exactly as old as I thought. Which also means that Kristen Bell kicks ass. Which we knew. "Yeah," say Duncan, "but not really: she's hot. Like that's news." Advantage Kane. "Ass-slaps and high fives to Logan!" snits Veronica. "Maybe she'll buy us beer." Duncan takes the low-key approach to heading this crap off, all, "I'd ask her, but I think she'll be in there for awhile." Veronica is...annoyed? Jealous? Angry? as she turns the TV back on. My Dear Veronica Mars, you are being -- for lack of a better term -- abusive. You're not allowed to be weird about Logan. Specifically about his sex life. Specifically in a way where you have a problem with it. You're not allowed to talk to Duncan about this, or act all pissy, or acknowledge it in any way. Kind, courteous, responsive, and normal are the watchwords. Of course, if I were dating Duncan Kane, I'd be three times meaner to him than Veronica ever is, so who am I, but still. Have some grace, considering you're all sharing space in the Neptune Grand together for the foreseeable future.
Cut to the Billionaire Boy's Club, where the teacher is getting speechy with it: "Whaaaat a difference a day makes: you're in the pink; you're in the red. You're on top of the world; you're sleeping in the gutter, without a penny to your name." Logan -- who knows a thing or two about days like this -- quips, "You've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet!" Gia and Dick, that flirty, doomed couple, giggle, even though I'm so sure anybody in the room gets that reference. Last week, we're told, "Ms. Mars" was, as the kids say, "flush, with Mr. Casablancas [the younger, dreamier, less rapey Beav] breathing down her neck." Cassidy/Beaver and Veronica turn cute, pseudo-competitive faces toward each other. "Well, the worm has turned. Beaver is now in the lead." He snaps right in Veronica's face and says, "Boo-yah," but not in a particularly rude way. "Nobody likes an eager beaver," Veronica grins. Gia, who never met a Dick she didn't get all U-Haul with immediately, goes, "Dick! Where's your line?" "Yeah, where's Dick, Inc.?" he asks, somewhat hilariously. Dick is gross and stupid and creepy, but apparently Veronica's okay with Gia being friends with him, so Gia laughs. Basically, we're told, Dick has nothing because he didn't follow any advice: he put everything into the Casablancas House of Cards, despite his insider info, and has apparently put misplaced family loyalty above fiscal performance. Logan's doing poorly, but harkening back to the beginning of this paragraph -- and this season -- assures them that he will "always bounce back." Duncan's also not doing well -- so badly, in fact, that the teacher says maybe it's "better he doesn't know." Logan and Veronica suddenly notice that Duncan's not in the room, sitting between them as usual. That's mysterious. You'd think you'd notice the boyfriend you've recently reconciled with wasn't there, right? I'm ashamed for you! Both of you!