Veronica Mars
Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 4 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The 09 Is Even Worse Than You Thought

Veronica opens the book to a random Kecklered page reading "THE PATH TO GOD IS PAVED WITH RIGHTEOUSNESS." "People suck," Veronica says. And yeah, it's creepy. No youngster aged 7-10 should have to fill books with stuff like that, regardless of whether you're down with the sentiment. That's some kind of "We burned all our Amy Grant tapes in March of '91" kind of shit right there. She pulls out her writing samples and starts making the comparison in flagrante delicto. None of the three stolen homework assignments matches the notebook -- and then Veronica notices that the admonishments are in the handwriting of a little girl, and not a boy at all. Duncan -- like he's never once seen Veronica intuit like a champ before -- protests that Meg was talking about a little boy. She's smarter than you, dude. Let it ride. Hell, she's smarter than anybody. At Meg's bedside is a framed photo of the three sisters -- Coma Meg, Pissy Lizzie, and sweet little Grace. Resistant to the horror, Veronica disbelievingly asks the equally repressing Duncan whether it's possible Meg was covering with the whole "Not my family. I...have a friend with a family" thing. They sneak unstealthily across the hall to Grace's room, and Veronica immediately starts rooting through her closet for more notebooks. Which she finds, neat as pretty maids all in a row. Duncan's still...confused? Disgusted? Freaking? All of the above. There's a fumbling sound behind the wall, and Veronica makes the throw, opening a tiny secret door. Behind which is a very jacked-up little girl. "Grace?"

Commercials, during which it is ascertained that there's no place for a "Trapped In The Closet" joke in this entire recap, even with the pants-shitting midget humor it would provide, because by law you're not allowed to bring an R. Kelly joke within fifty yards of a little kid.

Back to the closet: "It's okay. It's okay, Grace." Grace has crazy bags under her eyes and looks like hell. "They can tell if the door was open! They're not going to believe me!" she screams. Not about to deal with that crap, Veronica just promises to get her out of there. Grace isn't done freaking you out, though: "Daddy said I'm not ready!" Oh, I do not like this. Duncan's like, "Grace, you remember me, right?" Veronica nods. "It's Duncan, Meg's friend. Remember?" Gets worse: "I don't wanna be tested! Daddy said I'm not ready!" Veronica dials up a hot cup of cops and Duncan tries to chill Grace out. If it were me, I'd get him the hell out of the room, based on what I just heard. The light comes on, Veronica gasps, and Duncan jumps directly in front her like Spider-Man. Mr. Manning comes in with a baseball bat, and asks Grace politely to come out of the tiny room where he's been keeping her and go downstairs to her mommy. He screams at Duncan and Veronica to hit the deck, and yells to his wife to call the Sheriff.

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Veronica Mars

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