Veronica Mars
Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 4 USERS: A+
The 09 Is Even Worse Than You Thought

Cut to the Billionaire Boy's Club, where the teacher is getting speechy with it: "Whaaaat a difference a day makes: you're in the pink; you're in the red. You're on top of the world; you're sleeping in the gutter, without a penny to your name." Logan -- who knows a thing or two about days like this -- quips, "You've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet!" Gia and Dick, that flirty, doomed couple, giggle, even though I'm so sure anybody in the room gets that reference. Last week, we're told, "Ms. Mars" was, as the kids say, "flush, with Mr. Casablancas [the younger, dreamier, less rapey Beav] breathing down her neck." Cassidy/Beaver and Veronica turn cute, pseudo-competitive faces toward each other. "Well, the worm has turned. Beaver is now in the lead." He snaps right in Veronica's face and says, "Boo-yah," but not in a particularly rude way. "Nobody likes an eager beaver," Veronica grins. Gia, who never met a Dick she didn't get all U-Haul with immediately, goes, "Dick! Where's your line?" "Yeah, where's Dick, Inc.?" he asks, somewhat hilariously. Dick is gross and stupid and creepy, but apparently Veronica's okay with Gia being friends with him, so Gia laughs. Basically, we're told, Dick has nothing because he didn't follow any advice: he put everything into the Casablancas House of Cards, despite his insider info, and has apparently put misplaced family loyalty above fiscal performance. Logan's doing poorly, but harkening back to the beginning of this paragraph -- and this season -- assures them that he will "always bounce back." Duncan's also not doing well -- so badly, in fact, that the teacher says maybe it's "better he doesn't know." Logan and Veronica suddenly notice that Duncan's not in the room, sitting between them as usual. That's mysterious. You'd think you'd notice the boyfriend you've recently reconciled with wasn't there, right? I'm ashamed for you! Both of you!

Woody Goodenberg is golfing and laughing creepily as Keith approaches to once more check on Lamb's coverage of the bus crash, because that's like his whole deal, especially now that he's finally been informed that it was an assassination attempt on his daughter. Woody glad-hands him that they have a shared "vision" for Neptune, and that his newest scheme is to make it an actual city, like Carmel and La Jolla, rather than a county seat. He spouts off lots of ways this will benefit the town, focusing on stuff like "cobblestone streets" and basically turning Neptune into a Southern Cali Dickens Disneyland Fantasia or some shit. Keith clarifies the exact area this newer "Neptune" would actually encompass, and Woody names some boundaries that would basically make it a 9,000-person "country club," according to Keith. I'm guessing that's pretty much the 09, although neither says it specifically, but given the Rich Effed-Up Dad/Poor Good-Guy Dad thing of this show, and especially this season, it's worth assuming. Woody explains the Keith-specific advantage: while Lamb would remain County Sheriff, Keith could be the new town's Chief Of Police. Because that worked out so well for Will Girardi. Keith mentions how he'd basically be unable even to "afford to live in the town [he] was protecting and serving," and Woody Mephistos that "we'd" make it worth his while, then vanishes in a cloud of golf cart.

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Veronica Mars




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