Cut to Mrs. Hauser -- sorry, "Ms." Hauser, rapping on her desk, which is all taped up with "Ms." signs indicating her new marital status. Gia is...petulant? Disingenuously hilarious? Unbelievably naïve? as she holds up her STD: "Isn't this a flower?" "No, Gia," scoffs MS. Hauser, and then she actually says it: "Chlamydia is not a flower." My friend Ali had a cat named Susan in college with feline herpes, and we taped up a "Chlamydia Is Not A Flower" brochure over her litterbox to remind her of her sin. How 09er of us. "Well, we have it on a trellis at our beach house," Gia murmers, and Veronica returns the serve: "Your trellis is a whore." Gia gets all up in Veronica's jock about how she's so funny ["although she doesn't actually laugh" -- Wing Chun], and that people don't get Gia at this school and she has no girlfriends. In keeping with Veronica's inability to think of Gia as a human being -- who, for example, should be protected from Dick at all costs -- senses her recon opening and gets really fake, all, "You know, I've not gone over to a girlfriend's house and watched TV and looked at her clothes in oh so long," and Gia says my favorite line so far, due to the WTF of Gia: "You should come look at my clothes! You can sleep over..." But do you have a chicken suit?
The bell rings, and everybody jumps up. Hilariously, MS. Hauser stops them...and then waves them out. Control issues much? Veronica approaches MS. Hauser's desk, finding her weirdly unreceptive to the babysitting gig plan. Either she's just a cipher obstruction and plot device, or she's worried about money and is throwing out any excuse she can to avoid spending the funds. Veronica's eyes fall on MS. Hauser's desk, where her light lunch reading is titled You're Forty And He's Gone: Dating After Divorce. Points if it had said You're Forty And He's Gay, but that's kind of niche for today's publishing market. ["Is it? Or is it Terry McMillan's next book?" -- Wing Chun]
At the Fuller house, the very intense Mrs. Fuller indicates Sabrina Fuller's newest framed awards and says that, already, in her first semester, Sabrina is finding she "flourishes in academia." Mrs. Fuller has a pretty detailed schedule for tonight's babysitting, including a five-minute window between each activity, and a thirty-minute period to start with baking cookies and getting to know little Edwin. Mr. Fuller and little Edwin enter. Mrs. Fuller cites "that boyfriend of" Meg's for the No Boys Rule: "This isn't Inspiration Point." After the Fuller parents have gone, Veronica asks Edwin what he wants to do, and his reply is, "We're supposed to make cookies." Edwin's wearing an argyle sweater, which I think means he has Type IV Fake Disorder.