Veronica Mars
Of Vice And Men

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Men Are Pigs...

Piz returns to his room, and Veronica sunnily tells him that she's planning the perfect murder. I guess she was able to un-blow her mind in a hurry. Piz then notices that Meryl is in his bed. Veronica: "Yeah, buddy!" Hee. Piz asks where he'll be sleeping. Veronica: "Play your cards right...the floor!" Hee, again. Piz, you could go sleep in Sully's bed, but that would mean you'd have to deal with Glenn's snoring and farting, which I hear are legendary. Anyway, Piz is just stopping in to get some records, since he's covering Mercer's slot at the radio show. And yes, it's Club Flush, which is the same show that was playing in the room when Parker was raped. Veronica quickly jumps up to go with him.

At the radio station, Piz shows Veronica the database wherein every show is logged. Veronica checks Saturday September 30th, the night Parker was raped, and discovers that Mercer's show was indeed on. The log shows that he was playing from 9 to 11 PM, which seems like a simple, if unfortunate, production error. (I think that's the term I'm going to start using to refer to mistakes in my recaps. It sounds so much more impressive, doesn't it?) Veronica also determines that Mercer was DJing when Stacy was raped, on Friday, March 24th, although that does give us the new information that he was at Hearst last year. Veronica speculates that he could have taped his stuff in advance, but Piz tells her that Mercer's is a call-in request show. Veronica looks stymied before she's swallowed up by the METAL TEETH CHOMP! (Sorry, just thought I'd throw in some synergy. God knows the CW isn't producing enough of it.)

A lamp switches on, and Logan wakes up to find Veronica standing over him. She tells him, in a very adenoidal voice, that she has the proof to get Mercer off, but that Logan has to tell her where he was that night. Logan asks if she can just trust him, but she tells him she's not built that way. Logan complains about being blackmailed by his girlfriend, although it seems more like bribery to me; either way, his larger point about it not being conducive to relationship bliss is taken. Veronica looks like she's hanging on by a thread as Logan tells her they were partying in Tijuana, and that it was no big deal. They went back to Mercer's hotel room and started making a drink where you set a shot on fire and drop it in a beer. Veronica snots that she wants to jot down the recipe, and hon, I've cut you some breaks this episode, but he's telling you what you want to know, awful as it is, so I'm going to have to insist that you shut up without delay. Anyway, after Logan went to sleep in his room, Mercer accidentally set his own room on fire. Ironic that the real flaming only started after Logan had made his exit. Veronica asks whether Logan was alone in bed and, upon hearing a yes, notes that he's actually not that much of an alibi. Well, considering that (a) he probably went to bed later than the rape occurred, and (b) I'm thinking he witnessed Mercer drink enough alcohol to impress even Paula Abdul, the chances of Mercer driving back to campus and orchestrating a careful rape seem pretty slim to me. However, Logan says that he and Mercer had adjoining rooms, and he could hear "them." Yes, there were girls in with Mercer, but that's not the worst part. No, the fire spread quickly, and they fled the scene without even seeing if everyone in the place was okay. Logan concludes, "It's because of the look on your face right now that I didn't want to tell you." Um, I hope for your sake that's not the only reason, Logan, because if it is, you haven't come nearly as far as I thought. Logan says that "nine out of ten guys" in his situation would have done what he did, and I'm sympathetic to the idea that crippling guilt affects your math skills, so I'll just say that I think he might be overstating the case a little. Anyway, the die was then cast: either Logan remained silent about that night, or Mercer would have gone to jail in Mexico, and I know I'm jumping the gun with the Arrested Development, but that doesn't sound like a fun, sexy time for him. Maybe for his cellmate, though. Veronica, with disappointed, bitter steel, tells Logan to have Lamb check the log at the campus radio station, and leaves.

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Veronica Mars

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