Veronica Mars
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 28 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Veronica Mars...

Keith grills two large, juicy steaks out by the pool. Mmm, steak. BOC's "Don't Fear The Reaper" plays. I wanted to avoid making the obvious "more cowbell" joke, but with the steaks on the grill and the fact that at the beginning of the recap I proudly declared my intention to make as many Uranus jokes as I could, I guess I can't. So: more cowbell! Veronica tells Keith about Jake's visit to the motel, and shows him pictures of license plates she wants him to run in an effort to discover the identity of the woman in the motel. Her dad looks at the pictures, and his face noticeably tightens as he crumples them up and throws them on the floor. He tells Veronica to stay away from Jake Kane, and that they're dropping the case. She protests, but he's not having it, and walks off. Nice to leave the photos there for her to pick up, Mr. Investigator.

VMVO tells us she had another case to occupy her, as we see she's staking out The Seventh Veil. Dude, seven veils are a lot. Are straight guys really that patient? (It's a joke. Don't e-mail me about Salome, please.) Anyway, VMVO tells us stuff we already knew about the Seventh Veil (and this is what I'm talking about with the voice-overs, people) and starts filming what she calls "Phase One of my plan to save Wallace."

Cut to school for Phase Two. VP Travers and the security guard from before are conducting a "random" search of Logan's locker. Veronica and Wallace observe from around a corner. Inside, Travers finds a bong in what looks like the shape of the Venus de Milo. Hee. "Precious Venus," indeed. Logan sees Veronica and figures out what happened as people laugh at him. He gets in her face, and she fake-yawns at him. Word, Mars. He's led away as Corny appears. Not clear if he planted the bong, arranged the search, or both, but who really cares.

VMVO tells us that she drove Wallace to the sheriff's department for Phase Three. Considering that we see them in the car outside the sheriff's department...well, I hate to have to say it, but shut up, VMVO. Anyway, Wallace takes out what I'm assuming is the radio control for his plane, and operates a control, which causes something in the bong, which is inside an evidence locker or something in the sheriff's department, to ignite. It sets off the smoke alarm, causing a somewhat hysterical woman to babble in German that there's a fire. Now, tell me the truth. If you just read those last couple of sentences, would you think I was recapping Veronica Mars or Monty Python's Flying Circus? Anyway, a fire truck shows up, to Veronica's and Wallace's delight.

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Veronica Mars

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