So when Couch Baron and Wing Chun offered me the assignment this week, I admit I was still in catch-up mode, because everything on TV comes on at 9 on Wednesday, so I've been borrowing copies from friends. Which is actually a backhanded compliment, because this is the only show I can watch two, or three, or twenty episodes in a row without stopping and still feel good about life. Not that I'm endorsing any kind of "three arc mysteries per season" madness -- I wouldn't give up the emotional blowout of "A Trip To The Dentist," or the episode we're here to discuss, for anything. But either way, it's more satisfying than most shows, and I'll try to do better from now on. And anyway, I looked at the episode listing, did the math wrong, and thought I'd be recapping some episode (last week's, turns out) called "The Rapes Of Graff." Perfect, I thought: Yet another sub for my rich portfolio of recaps about fucked-up sexual abuse. (Quite how I've become TWoP's very own Tori Amos is a question for another day; I play the piano like those old videos of spiders weaving webs while on LSD.) Imagine my laughter, then, once Wing Chun helped me with the math and I realized I was actually doing an episode with the innocuous title of "Plan B." It sounded like this, the laughter: "Ha, ha, ha. Wheeew." Funny story, right? That's the thing: I don't know if my instincts were all that off. I think either the show has gotten a bunch more subtle and creepy, or...I have, and I'm just reading my own sudden shit into it. I'm going with Plan A on this one, though, because: DUDE.
Nasal English Teacher Lady intros us to the hilarious and important B Plot this week, all about how "Citizens! The big moment has arrived!" That makes me laugh, because every time there's voting, I walk around all day addressing everyone as "Citizen," for precisely the dorky reason this teacher is talking like this. So one lucky student, thanks to winning an essay-writing contest, will be interning at the offices of the "Mayor" as his Honorary Deputee for a week. And "as the grand finale," she reminds us very enthusiastically, "This lucky patriot will push the plunger for the demolition of Old Shark Field on Saturday!" And the lucky patriot? Why, Logan Echolls, of course. Logan, smarmy as anything, slowly lowers his magazine, complete with oleaginous grin: "I'm sorry...did somebody say my name?" She pins the winning essay to her bulletin board and dismisses the class.