Veronica Mars
Plan B

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 9 USERS: A
What A Non-Incorporated Municipality Without Pity Can Do

Walking out, Weevil's all wigging: "An 09er could come in here with tea leaves and a ouija board, and they'd send a SWAT team. Time for Plan B." Veronica knows what he means, which is that the hypothetical accused would be a minority, and says it's not time for Plan B "just yet, Dirty Harry." He points out that, in case Veronica hasn't yet noticed his intense ethnicity, he's no "mick cop." So Veronica revises his nickname to "Dirty Sanchez." Which: first of all, fucking gross. And second of all, four words: Actor-Producer Dan Etheridge. I bet you one hundred dollars. "Just give me a few more hours," Veronica asks. Should have begged, Veronica. "Luck might be a lady tonight." Weevil says that patience isn't one of his "virtues." Weevil, we know. Don't.

Keith comes into Woody's office looking all private investigational-like. He shows Woody how the awesome clock in the creepy Lost Highway DVD shows the time at 5:30 PM, even though it was a pretty dark Cali evening. So? "This video was shot in November or December," long before Woody went public with the incorporation bullshit: "We're barking up the wrong tree. Next question another tree?" Um, he's got a fucking orchard? Obviously? From second one? Over Keith's questioning about people that might want to rattle him, Woody stands and clearly gets his sketch on about "let me think about this" and lights a cigar. Keith tells him to take his time, because -- total lie -- "sometimes these things aren't easy to recall." As a person without enemies, I think that's probably true. But then, even casting the widest net, I am not as creepy as Woody Goodman, so who knows.

Sadie Hawkins Dance! Jackie waves at Charlie -- and his mom -- and those of us slow on the uptake finally figure out that all is not developmentally baseline with old Charlie. Mom thanks Jackie profusely, and she says it's her pleasure, and Veronica -- whose job as photographer affords her optimal cast placement to swan all over the eighteen subplots brewing here -- asks Charlie how he's managed to snag "the sexiest girl in school." He replies simply that she asked, and he said yes, and Veronica only slightly condescends that "they always want the bad boys." But then, I guess in any conversation about the "bad boys," Veronica has a vested interest in the illusion that she's the smartest kid in the room.

Gia Goodman and Logan sit at the FBLA table, taking tickets. Logan sleazes to an attendee that "if she's a two at 10, she'll be a ten at 2," a phrase with which I'm not familiar, maybe because I sadly don't know how to drive, but I can certainly see using, and often. Alcohol is wonderful! Gets people laid! Gia dorks out, as usual, and is totally adorable, as usual if you like that sort of thing, and I do: "This is 'cool,' huh? It would've been 'cooler' to have like a 'date' but I'm 'proud' of my 'self' having come alone -- it's kind of 'cool,' like I'm evolving." Logan hears none of this, and if he did, all he would hear is: nothing whatsoever.

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Veronica Mars




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