Veronica Mars
Plan B

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 9 USERS: A
What A Non-Incorporated Municipality Without Pity Can Do

Woody's jaw drops just a bit when he sees that the intern is Logan, but to be fair, they're kind of alike in a lot of ways. They shake, and Woody's all, "Great essay," but quickly tells Bev to cancel his last request for the PR, because Logan is a famous fuck-up now, instead of just being the child of a couple of them. Bev's like, "Um, okay?" and gives Woody a Bible to swear Logan in for his fake job. I wonder if Logan will spontaneously...oh, Logan makes the joke instead of me, hissing and pulling back as though it's burned him. He apologizes to Woody, all kinds of flirty, swears in quickly, and then runs off to fire Sheriff Lamb. Bev and Woody laugh like he's not deadly serious, but Logan's funny/scary ratio isn't something you can pick up right away. Woody brings up the incorporation, since it's all he ever wants to talk about, and Logan gives a funny and very off-the-cuff speech about how he so supports the incorporation, will put his considerable [negative!] weight behind it, and wants to take it so far as to erect a wall around the entirety of Neptune, possibly to keep Lamb inside, although he doesn't say that directly. He offers to visit some community centers and sell them on the whole fascist idea of walling up Neptune, but even Woody knows when he's getting joked with, so he doesn't email Logan with a lot of exclamation points. They are very smiley with each other. It is scary. They are two scary men, Logan and Woody, and if you think about how scary, you probably will freak out. Woody asks Logan -- before mounting the revolution -- if he'd start by separating the bins of mail into pro- and anti-incorporation piles, and while Logan would prefer to see Beverly do it, she smartly offers him a letter opener, and Woody goggles and grins at him: "Beats selling burgers at a Woody's, right?" Logan's like, "I wouldn't know, you're the one who's served twenty billion." Dirty! Logan winks (Too dirty! Reverse your current dirtiness vector before it's too late!) and Woody gives him some finger guns. The first time I watched this, I thought, "They should have their own show!" and the second time I watched it, I thought, "I've seen their own show, and it was so scary I took it back to the porn store, and was still shaking as I asked for my cash back!"

Bev leaves Logan, now quite pissy, alone with the mail bin, and Keith enters. (Hi!) Beverly is very friendly with him, and I just assume that she's immediately going to start rattling at him about the incorporation, but instead, she notifies Woody that Keith's here. Keith: "Logan, is that you?" Of all the fathers across whose brain the image of Logan Echolls is emblazoned, Woody Goodman fucking included, you'd think Keith wouldn't need the second opinion. Logan corrects him, explaining that he's the Honorary Deputy County Commissioner, Viscount de Mayorburg and the Outlying Provinces in America and San Diego, Prince of the Movie Star Freakout Horrible Parenting Dead Girlfriend Territories, or whatever, and Keith fake-laughs as Woody calls him in, all hail-fellow-well-met. Poor Keith. Just seeing Logan blows his mind, and not in the cool way.

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Veronica Mars




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