Veronica Mars
Veronica Mars

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | 1214 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Pretty Sad Woman

In his squad car, Lamb pulls up to a stoplight, totally seat-rocking to the radio. (Sorry kids, I'm out of the loop when it comes to music. If he were eating something, I'm sure I could identify it, but the last album I bought was U2's All That You Can't Leave Behind.) Lamb looks over at the car pulled up next to his, and his smile of "hey, there" freezes, then drops, as he double-takes at the sight of Keith in uniform. Keith gives him a lazy salute, looks up at the light, and makes a left turn. Lamb is left half-smiling in bemusement to himself. Odd -- I would have thought he'd be angry. He almost seems tickled at the sight of Keith in uniform.

Veronica arrives at Max's dorm, announcing that she got his text message. She notes the lingerie spread out way too neatly on the bed and assumes aloud that their relationship has reached a higher plane. Cutting to the chase, Max tells Veronica that he wants to hire her to make Cheliondy disappear: "I guess she needs a new ID, a new name" -- ANOTHER one!? -- "someone to close out her apartment." Veronica tries to talk some sense into Max, telling him it's way too fast, but that's when Cheliondy arrives. Max tells her that Veronica's going to help them. Dude, she hasn't agreed! Stop putting the cart before the horse. Unless, of course, you're into that sort of thing. Cheliondy is so grateful, commenting that it's hard to break out of prostitution, and then goes on about one of her clients, a judge, who likes to have tickle fights in his office and walk around in her shoes. Ouch. Veronica gets excited when Cheliondy tells her that it's Judge Kramer -- a judge Keith busted for bribe-taking but still got reelected. I guess this means Veronica is taking the case? Max has been looking quite uncomfortable as Cheliondy describes the judge's proclivities. What do you expect, man? She's a hooker! Cheliondy catches Max's look of slight disgust and looks down, but Max squeezes her shoulder and says, "Well, you won't have to worry about him stretching out your shoes anymore." Because that's the biggest stretching worry. "Whatever it costs," Max instructs Veronica, who just nods and smiles tightly.

Meanwhile, Logan opens his door to another hooker. She's bruised and bleeding and demands to know where Cheliondy is.

After the commercial, Bruisella is holding an ice pack -- a towel wrapped around frozen peas, I believe. See? I get the food stuff! -- to her face, laying down the law to Cheliondy: "If you don't come back with me with a thousand dollars for your time last night, Mr. Happy Fists is going to play connect-the-bruises on me." "Mr. Happy Fists" sounds like a game. Sort of like Whack-a-Mole at the pimp carnival. Cheliondy simpers and trembles and tells Max that she has to go back. Max wants to talk to her pimp, which just brings up so many hysterical images, considering that Max looks almost as weedy as Warren from Buffy. Cheliondy tearfully explains that there's no other way, and thanks him for the greatest night of her life. With reluctance, Max pulls out a packet of cash and hands it over to Bruisella, noting that it was supposed to pay Veronica. Veronica just nods wearily as Bruisella takes the cash and drags Cheliondy out. Max promises that they will figure something out.

Veronica Mars

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